Friends, sometimes the most important lessons are the most obvious lessons.
Let's travel back to earlier this week and a police matter.
No, we're not referring to Bradley County Sheriff Eric Watson trying his best to be the most scrutinized cop since Boss Hogg promoted Roscoe P. Coltrane.
We're also not referring to the scary number of Chattanooga crimes, which include a murder on Hixson Pike and the Hamilton County Sheriff's Office working with a slew of agencies to arrest 59 people Friday.
Jay GreesonNo, the lesson of the week comes from the social media post from the Chattanooga Police Department:
"If the keys are in the car, you need to be in the car. In the past 30 days, CPD responded to 125 stolen auto calls, keys were in 50 of them."
And while we're talking parked cars: People if you have a kid in a car seat, DO NOT LEAVE THEM IN THE CAR.
Got to be an upset
Usnail Bolt was toppled in a world championship race this week.
Yes, Usnail Bolt. Not Usain Bolt.
In fact, Larry the Snail - which we have to believe is a play on Larry the Cable Guy - took home the title in the World Snail Racing Championships in Congham, England, earlier this week.
Larry the Snail toppled his sluggish foes, crossing the finishing line of the 13-inch course in 2 minutes and 47 seconds. Don't worry if you blink, you won't miss any of it.
Interestingly, Larry was found in Tara Beasley's garden the night before the championship event.
Without the training and the preparation, Larry snailed his big chance.
Here are some details from Hilary Scase, the 84-year-old Snail pooh-bah who helps run the annual championships. She told reporters:
"It was a bit windy and snails don't like wind, so all times were quite slow. Tara has taken Larry home and she has treated him to some grapes. She thinks that he managed to win because when she got him out of the garden she sat him on cucumber."
Not sure if a cucumber lounge constitutes a PEV - performance enhancing vegetable - or not.
Speaking of crazy ...
Man, everyone is looking to ban anything these days.
China is taking major online steps to kibosh Winnie the Pooh.
Yes, you read that right.
Winnie the Pooh is on the endangered species list online in China because there are several pictures of Chinese president Xi Jinping that draw a striking resemblance between Christopher Robbins' honey-loving friend.
According to various media reports, WeChat, the most popular social media platform in China is no longer allowing comparative pictures or memes of Jinping and Pooh to be posted.
Also, there are several animated social media icons of Pooh that have been removed from WeChat, which is also part of the internet known as the Great Firewall of China.
Man, what a bunch of Pooh.
Saturday suggestion
I normally offer a star or three to close our Saturday conversations.
Today, I offer a suggestion.
I may not be the wisest of guys. I also may not see eye to eye with your political or social views.
But if you have made it this far, take my advice and do this Saturday suggestion.
Call your parents, or your kids, today and tell them that you love them and are thinking of them.
There will be a time when you can't call or they can't pick up. Sadly, that's life. And death.
My mother would have been 71 today, but God called her last October.
I wish I could call her one more time and say those words.
Contact Jay Greeson at jgreeson@timesfreepress.com and 423-757-6343.