"A jackass can kick a barn down, but it cannot build anything."
- Speaker of the House Sam Rayburn, D-Texas
For the kids out there, once upon a time Democrats and Republicans worked together for the betterment of the country. Yes, I know it sounds crazy. Back then, you could be a Republican and read a book by Trotsky, or watch the movie "Dr. Zhivago," and not have to lawyer up afterward.
Probably less surprisingly, bourbon was the reason compromises such as getting Democrats on board with the civil rights acts of the 1960s happened. There once lived a powerful Texas Congressman named Sam Rayburn, who rose to become speaker of the House. After rancorous debates on the House floor on the divisive issues of the day, he would invite his embattled colleagues from both sides of the aisle back to his office for his favorite drink, bourbon and branch water.
Plied with booze, they would open up, learn what each side really could compromise on, and get deals done for the voters. Back then we had a two-party system that would party. Today, the echo chamber of the left and right just hardens members' opinions on issues, making compromise elusive. Our current two-party system? MSNBC and Fox.
Today, the only thing the Republicans and Democrats can agree on is how mad they are at Kathy Griffin for holding up that mock severed head of the president. Republicans are annoyed that she threatened a sitting president, and Democrats are upset because the head was not really Trump's.
So how can Trump, a man who does not drink (always a problem), reach out with a branch of branch water to the Dems and even RINO Republicans to get things done? Keep in mind, bin Laden did not drink, nor did Sen. Harry Reid or Hitler. They all had their reasons; Hitler did not drink because he just felt it made him mean.
Imagine if Trump did drink. Yikes! Drunk Tweeting would be even more interesting.
Now everything is partisan and confusing. Democrats used to love Russians and their socialist ideology. Now they hate Russia because Trump might be getting along with Putin. If Hillary got along with Putin, she'd have a Nobel Peace Prize by now. Now Dems love China, because they disingenuously said it will stay in the non-binding Paris Climate Accord. In fact, China has committed to using hybrid tanks to run over all future anti-government protesters in Tiananmen Square.
The fact is, the Democrat Party has no discernible agenda. Its "resist" mindset has become transparently petty. It has lost more than 1,000 governorships, state house seats and congressional seats since Obama/Pelosi took over. Democrats have been so knocked out that when they wake up they will see Bill Cosby standing over them in his bathrobe.
Dems seem to find more satisfaction in hurting their opponents with the politics of personal destruction than in governing. SNL and the media found pleasure in making a cartoon of White House Spokesman Sean Spicer, thus forcing his resignation. It was the first resignation letter ever written in all caps. But be careful what you wish for. Dems will find that his replacement, Anthony Scaramucci, a smart former co-worker of mine and friend, will be a more formidable presence than Spicer.
The focus groups now tell Democrats they need an actual message. So they stole their new rebranding message from Papa John's Pizza: "A Better Deal: Better Skills, Better Jobs, Better Wages." Clearly, their new message is an attempt to make voters think of FDR's New Deal, the glory days of using a crisis to grow the power of government and raise taxes.
Some would say it's a bad idea to reintroduce Mad Men-style drinking to Washington. It would take us back to the days of misogynist men, drinking and cavorting, when they say it was a bad time to be a woman. Yet we have O.J. getting out of prison, Bill Clinton on the road giving speeches, the Bill Cosby mistrial, Anthony Weiner and Ole Miss ex-coach Hugh Freeze, all with a lot of time on their hands. I'm not sure now is a much better time to be a woman.
Contact Ron Hart, a syndicated op-ed humorist, author and TV/radio commentator, at Ron@RonaldHart.com or Twitter @RonaldHart.