Kennedy: It's up to parents to de-stress kids during test weeks

A student fills in his answer to the practice test question for a standardized test, in Roswell, Georgia. (Anitta C. Charlson/Atlanta Journal-Constitution/MCT)
A student fills in his answer to the practice test question for a standardized test, in Roswell, Georgia. (Anitta C. Charlson/Atlanta Journal-Constitution/MCT)

Our 12-year-old son is highly invested in his schoolwork. He doesn't make straight A's, but he tries.

The way his brain is wired, he'd rather study math than Mesopotamia. At least he is self-aware. Knowing his strengths and weaknesses also helps his mother and me keep him centered.

He's also a worrier. You can tell he's worried because his face visibly falls when he is anxious. All his angst is self-imposed, though. We encourage him, but we don't ask for anything more than honest effort.

photo Mark Kennedy

"Daddy," he announced one night last week, "I've decided to put my computer away every night at 8 o'clock and read for 30 minutes before bedtime."

"I think that's an excellent idea, Son," I said. "Why don't I read with you tonight just to get you started on a new book?"

With that, we opened a book called "The Scandal." It's part of the Theodore Boone young-reader series by novelist John Grisham. "The Scandal" is about standardized testing. Specifically, it's about systematic cheating on the tests in a public school.

When we finished Chapter 1 of "The Scandal," my son interjected.

"As long as we are reading about standardized testing, do you mind if I ask you something," he said.

"Not at all," I said.

"Well, what do you think about it - standardized testing, I mean?"

"Well," I said, "I think it has its place, but it's certainly nothing for kids to get twisted up about. There's nothing that you will do, or not do, on a test this week that will have much meaning in a few years. So basically just do your best and don't worry."

He was in the middle of a week of testing, and it was weighing heavily on his mind.

"OK," he said, backing up for another pass at the subject. "Let me ask you this: How often do you use ratios in your daily life?"

"Well, more often than you'd think," I said. "Ratios are really just fractions, and knowing about fractions helps you understand things. Now, algebra, there's a subject I don't use much. I can't remember the last time a person walked up and asked me to solve an equation."

"Oh," he said.

My mind drifted back to a time earlier that day when my wife and I had helped our son work on a school project. He had been assigned to interview someone who immigrated to the United States and then to write a paper about it.

His mom found a friend who had moved here from Canada and arranged for our 12-year-old to telephone her on Sunday afternoon. He was nervous, but he made it through his list of about 20 questions and even asked a few deft follow-ups.

Meanwhile, I made sure we had a recording of the exchange on my iPhone as a backup.

It occurred to me that a sixth-grader without parental support might have struggled some to complete this assignment. But to a conscientious, middle- class kid like our son - with helpful parents - this was a gold-plated learning opportunity.

Working in the news business, there's always the temptation to assume public schools are a strict meritocracy and that comparing standardized test scores from school to school is a way to promote healthy competition.

But if you live with, or work around, children, you know that their success or failure often comes down to the luck of the draw: Are their parents in place, and do they care?

Under different circumstances, our son might have been a nervous wreck last week.

But he is lucky. Love and attention at home are the best test-prep strategies ever invented.

Contact Mark Kennedy at mkennedy@timesfreepress.com or 423-757-6645.

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