Spoon-bending president

Spoon-bending president

December 1st, 2012 in Opinion Free Press

President Barack Obama

Photo by Associated Press/Times Free Press.

Barack Obama, a man whose presidency has been built on deception, fabrications, trickery and old fashioned hooey, has found the perfect person to perform at his inauguration: A mentalist who cons people into believing he has psychic and psychokinetic abilities.

Earlier this week, mentalist Alain Nu announced on his Facebook page that he "was just invited to perform ... [at] President Obama's Inauguration January 21st!" Specifically, Nu will appear at an inaugural ball sponsored by the American Legion, according to the Daily Caller.

Nu, like all "mentalists," doesn't actually have the psychic and psychokinetic powers he claims - after all, no one does. He is simply a well-practiced entertainer who mixes a few magicians' tricks with the knowledge of body language and facial expression. The problem with Nu is that he is one of the few disgusting trolls who tries to convince his audiences that he actually can move things with his mind, speak to the dead and read thoughts. Nu claims to have ESP, a super memory and clairvoyance, according to his promotional materials.

One of Nu's most common tricks is spoon bending. He claims to shoot "chi" through his fingertips and bend spoons and other objects with his mind. Unfortunately for Nu, spoon bending is as stale as Joe Biden's comb-over. In 1973, Johnny Carson thoroughly debunked Uri Geller, a spoon bender and scam artist who claimed to have supernatural powers. Now, anyone willing to watch a couple of YouTube clips and ruin a few pieces of casual flatware can learn to bend spoons.

Nu is perhaps best known from his 2005 TLC series "The Mysterious World of Alain Nu." Despite his show airing on the same channel that has managed to perpetuate shows about wedding-dress shopping, cupcake baking, polygamists, dwarfs, hoarders, gypsies and an obese, 6-year-old hillbilly beauty pageant contestant, Nu's show lasted about five minutes before it was yanked off the air. Since then, Nu's showbiz career has rivaled the Red Lobster waiters who sing "Happy Birthday" - he is most often found performing his tacky brand of magic tableside at a steakhouse in Washington, D.C.

Besides harassing diners who are simply trying to enjoy their surf and turf, Nu has also been busy putting his psychic abilities to the test by predicting football games, mixed martial arts fights and even election results on his personal blog and Facebook page. His prophesying skills have proven as pathetic as Obama's efforts to improve the economy.

The day before the most recent Super Bowl, Nu predicted a New England Patriots victory over the New York Giants by a score of 31 to 28. The Giants actually won the game, 21 to 17.

In April, Nu followed up his incorrect Super Bowl prediction by foretelling the outcomes of a the six bouts during UFC 145. He got three right and three wrong - the exact 50-50 percentage that you'd expect if you flipped a coin to guess the winners of the fights.

Nu even failed to accurately forecast Obama's landslide victory over Mitt Romney. Instead, Nu went with the safe bet of predicting "a ballot-recount, combined with much scrutiny of the other party."

It's impressive that, despite the fact that he is a glorified side-show act who preys on people who are either dumb or searching for answers, Nu snagged an invitation to perform for the president at the inauguration.

That's probably because Obama sees a part of himself in Nu.

After all, just like Nu, Obama plays on peoples' fear and insecurities to get them believe things that aren't true: The stimulus "saved or created over 150,000 jobs;" "We got back every dime we used to rescue the financial system;" there will be "no more illegal wiretapping of American citizens;" "The detention facilities at Guantánamo ... shall be closed as soon as practicable, and no later than one year from [Jan. 22, 2009];" and, "A crude and disgusting video sparked outrage throughout the Muslim world."

Also, just like Nu, when Obama predicts something will happen, the opposite usually occurs. The president's erroneous prognostication that unemployment rates would fall to 5.6 percent after the stimulus handouts makes Nu's bungled Super Bowl pick easy to overlook.

Come to think of it, Obama's first term was filled with so much scamming, tricking, swindling and lying, who better to kick off his second term than a mentalist shyster who claims to have supernatural powers?