Thinking of investing in those "The end is near" signs you always see somebody carrying in bad disaster movies?
Now might be your chance to clean up.
Quoth London's Telegraph newspaper, on a recently implemented program in Britain: "New parents will be given government advice on changing nappies [diapers], breastfeeding and 'baby talk' under a multi-million-pound initiative to support family life. ... A ... digital information service, which begins today, will provide free email alerts and text messages with [National Health Service] advice 'on everything from teething to tantrums,' [Prime Minister] David Cameron said."
Writes one puzzled observer of this fresh expansion of the nanny state: "This is the same National Health Service that is storing patients on gurneys rather than in rooms because it is out of money."
Up to now, most folks in Britain probably thought what the rest of us still think: that there was no such thing as correct or incorrect baby talk. It was what it was.
How foolish and naïve of us not to realize that somewhere, somehow, a government bureaucrat could train us in more productive and appropriate means of addressing infants.
What a shame we don't have baby talk instructors in Washington, too.
Then again, no stupid idea for spending money can long escape Congress' notice, so it may just be a matter of time before we're told that "Is daddy's little girl hungry this morning?" should be replaced by, "Would you care for strained peas and apple juice?"