Nice work if you can get it
A study by the U.S. Department of Agriculture's Economic Research Service is just in with breaking news: "Americans purchase fast food to save time."
That's the actual conclusion to a 52-page study on why people purchase fast food.
The study noted that previous studies had found that "budget and time constraints" were factors in such purchases but boasted that it was the first such study to "extensively examine" the effects of time and budgets on people's purchasing decisions.
People who want to save time, the study also concluded, seem to be busier. In addition, it suggested that people who eat fast food may not be eating as well as others.
"Those that purchase fast food on a given day spend less time eating and drinking as a primary (main) activity, sleeping, doing housework, and watching television than the average for the total population," it said.
And, it said, "To the extent that eating quickly may not be ideal and that eating is done while one is engaged in activities that demand focus suggests that fast-food purchasers have different, and perhaps poorer, eating habits than others."
If researchers had more time, they also might have learned that fast-food diners choose the McDonald's closer to their house more often than the one across town, and those who pursue fast food rarely purchase chicken when they're craving hamburgers.
Don't tell Michelle
President Barack Obama has said he hasn't had a cigarette in many years -- "because I'm scared of my wife" -- but singer Billy Joel says that's not so.
The Piano Man, according to a recent report in The Hill, said he and the president took a smoke break recently when he visited 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.
"I was at the White House recently," the report stated Joel said when he was offered a smoke by House Speaker John Boehner, "and President Obama did the same thing. He said, 'I'm going out on the North Portico to have a smoke. Do you want to come with me?"
"Well," Joel said, "I haven't smoked in a long time," but he indicated he couldn't turn down a cigarette offer from the president.
No date was ascribed to the event, but a "William Joel" visited the White House in December 2013, having been in town as one of the honorees for the annual Kennedy Center Honors.
Too busy for taxes
The Rev. Al Sharpton has been all over recently, spreading misinformation about the events in Ferguson, Mo., telling the White House how to deal with the Republican Congress and advising President Obama on his selection for attorney general. Everywhere, that is, but the tax office.
The New York Times recently revealed the MSNBC host has "$4.5 million in current state and federal tax liens against him and his for-profit business."
But a White House spokesman said last week, when asked about such a tax scofflaw being a close advisor to the administration, he hadn't "read those stories." Pressed by a reporter, the aggravated spokesman grudgingly admitted that "every America should pay his or her taxes."
With Sharpton turning up everywhere, the IRS shouldn't have any trouble finding him and shaking him down.
Christians are fair game, right?
Twisting a Christian's words? Nah, never happen.
But it did, the victim was actor Kirk Cameron, and tabloid entertainment television outlet TMZ actually came to his defense.
A company called Deeper Understanding recently had used -- and edited -- footage from 15 to 20 years ago to show that the onetime "Growing Pains" star was proclaiming that "God hates [a slur for homosexuals]."
In actuality, Cameron was decrying anyone who would say such things, proclaiming the term unloving and wrong-headed.
"And then Christians make an error either on the right or on the left," the real clip begins. "They'll either try to attack the branch viciously and an extreme example of that would be to say, you know, 'God hates gay people. God hates [the slur] and you're going to hell so you better repent.' And that's a terrible way to talk to somebody."
A representative for Deeper Understanding admitted the inaccurate editing but defended it, saying he thought it would get a few laughs and then disappear. He said he wasn't expecting the clip would be shared on the Internet as much as it was.
"But," the representative said, "it gives me great pleasure to show the world what an arrogant [person] Kirk Cameron is. Yes, we did cherry-pick some of the more outrageous quotes and some things are presented out of context, but if you watch the entire, unedited video, the message of intolerance and hate is exactly the same."