Cooper: What's in a commencement speech?

Comedian Jim Gaffigan and his wife, Jeannie, used doses of humor in their recent commencement speech for The Catholic University of America.
Comedian Jim Gaffigan and his wife, Jeannie, used doses of humor in their recent commencement speech for The Catholic University of America.

If we had our choice of hearing graduation speeches delivered by the rich and famous this spring, we'd opt for the ones given last weekend by Jim and Jeannie Gaffigan at The Catholic University of America and by Jon Meacham at Monmouth College.

Jim Gaffigan is a stand-up comedian, so anything he said would be an improvement on cramming for finals in physics or on "The Encyclicals of Popes in the 15th Century." His wife, Jeannie, is his collaborative partner.

Meacham, of course, is the Chattanooga native who went on to become editor of Newsweek and author of several best-sellers such as "American Lion" (about President Andrew Jackson) and "Destiny and Power" (about President George H.W. Bush).

The two choices seem much preferable to President Barack Obama, who spoke at Rutgers University, where he took aim at the unnamed "presumptive Republican presidential nominee" with ominous words that curiously sounded like the warning that might have been given eight springs ago about the possibility of electing an untested, inexperienced community organizer as president of the United States.

"When our leaders express a disdain for facts," he said, "when they're not held accountable for repeating falsehoods and just making stuff up, when actual experts are dismissed as elitists, then we've got a problem."

Let's see how they fit Obama. "Disdain for facts"? Check. "Not held accountable for repeating falsehoods"? Double check. "Actual experts are dismissed"? Triple check.

It's not been the most eloquent of springs for administration members.

After all, it was the president's national security adviser, Susan Rice, earlier in graduation season, who used her talk to complain there were too many white people in key government posts.

A much preferable talk was one by Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas, who used his time in front of Hillsdale College graduates to urge them to help "preserve liberty" by being "good citizens" in "discharging their daily duties in their daily obligations."

They need not attempt to mimic the contemporary tendency to take pride in having "grievances rather than [good] personal conduct" or focus on individual rights rather than responsibilities, he said.

While "hallmarks of my youth such as patriotism and religion seem more like outliers, if not afterthoughts," Thomas said, he exorted the students not to "hide your faith and your beliefs under a bushel basket, especially in this world that seems to have gone mad with political correctness."

The Gaffigans, meanwhile, are unashamedly married, Catholic and have a large family (five children), and are more than happy to poke fun at each institution for a laugh.

Jim Gaffigan also likes to eat, and in his recent humorous book, "Dad Is Fat," extolled the joy of occasionally (or more than occasionally) eating things that taste delightful but are not especially good for you.

"Your studies here at Catholic University have enlightened your hearts and your minds and prepared you well for the challenges that lie ahead in your life," Jeannie said in their address, "but it was your family that prepared you . [And] as you put your trust in God, things that seem impossible will become possible. The love you are given and the love you give will be the most important force driving you through life. Life is nothing without love."

"Remember, happiness is not found in accomplishments, income or the number of Twitter followers you have," Jim said. "True happiness is found in family. Living for each other, sacrificing together and enjoying the blessing of fresh guacamole delivered promptly to your door."

Meacham told graduates "to make history your ally and not your enemy.

"[O]ur common welfare depends not on what separates us but on what unifies us," he said. "We must find a way forward. And we will do so, in my view, by consultation with the past. History has the capacity to bring us together. For the story of the American journey is ultimately the story of obstacles overcome, crises resolved and freedom expanded."

Graduates this spring also have heard or will hear from, among others, the world of Hollywood (Spike Lee, James Franco, Matt Damon and David Lynch), comedy (Hank Azaria, Seth Meyers and Mo Rocca) and politics (Condoleezza Rice, Madeleine Albright and David Axelrod) and sports (Russell Wilson, Mike Krzyewski and Kareem Abdul-Jabbar).

Of course, Damon dropped out of college, Axelrod used to spin lies for Obama and Krzyewski hasn't won a national championship with Duke since way back in the 2014-2015 season, so what do they know?

For us, we'll recommend the advice of the Gaffigans and Meacham: family, God, love, history, freedom. Seek those, graduates, and you'll go far.

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