The Chattanooga Lookouts are having a contest for fans to come up with the final AT&T Field promotion of the season. You can find details at www.chattanoogalookouts.com.
There's no telling what it will be - but here are some that it WON'T be.
Dancing with the Stars: Myron Noodleman edition
First 500 fans wearing Speedos and Viking helmets get in free
Mean Dogs on the Diamond day
Lucky fans gets to be the Trash Monster for a day Giveaway
Learn-to-scratch-and-spit-like-a-major-leaguer night
Hard Liquor and Handgun Night
Shave your back night
The Chattanooga-area proctologists "Big Foam Finger" night
Stolen Car Giveaway
Famous Chicken nuggets for everyone
----
Scandal is everywhere in college football right now.
UNC was delivered its Notice of Allegations that included nine major violations, most of which were against former assistant coach John Blake, who was moonlighting for a sports agents firm while coaching college football. (I'm not an NCAA rules expert, but something seems a little fishy there, right?)
The hand-wringing has jumped by "Knuckle Cracking" and has reached "Fully Chapped." But with Boise State and Tennessee awaiting their NCAA penalties, THE Ohio State awaiting its day in NCAA court and UNC looking at its next step, let's take a moment and celebrate the few that are still sporting a pretty impressive track record.
The Wall Street Journal reported this week that there are only four major-conference athletic programs that have never been found guilty of a major violation in any sport since the NCAA began tracking rule violations in 1953. Can you name the four? (Here's a hint - all four of them played in a bowl game last year. Here's another hint - Auburn is not one of them. Answers on the top of page D2 within the print edition of the Times Free Press.)
----
Speaking of shady college football, North Alabama coach Terry Bowden has added Janoris Jenkins to the UNA roster. Yes, that Janoris Jenkins, who was an All-SEC cornerback at Florida before being dismissed for violation of team rules (also known as failing a drug test in some circles).
A friend of mine believes that if Terrelle Pryor pulls his name out of the NFL supplemental draft (feel free to add any of the "he can't afford the pay cut" joke here), the next words we'll hear are, "And Terry Bowden wants to talk this third down play over with Terrelle Pryor. Timeout on the field."
Any truth UNA is going to change its nickname to the Baggage?
----
Earlier this week, Atlanta Braves pitcher Tim Hudson turned in an old-school, high-school superstar type of performance in the Braves' 2-0 win over Toronto. He pitched eight-plus scoreless innings and hit a two-run homer. The only thing that could have made it feel more like a little league game (where the pitchers are generally the best hitters, too) than a Major League game would have been manager Fredi Gonzalez bringing Hudson a different glove and telling him to go to shortstop when the pitching change was made.
Dan Uggla better be careful. Uggla has been so bad - he's been sub-.200 since May 17; spending most of the last four weeks hovering around .180 - here's saying that Sunday when Hudson pitches against San Diego, Gonzalez may want to consider putting Uggla in the No. 9 hole and letting Hudson hit eighth.