5-at-10: Olympic chase, Vols football head-scratchers and Randy Travis nakedness

5-at-10: Olympic chase, Vols football head-scratchers and Randy Travis nakedness

August 9th, 2012 by Jay Greeson in Sports - Columns

Great effort all around yesterday. Funny stuff indeed.

Don't forget the mailbag tomorrow, and buckle up, we got a lot to cover.

From the "Talks too much" studios, here we go.

Olympic update

United States' Kerri Walsh Jennings, right, and Misty May-Treanor, left, react during a podium ceremony after winning the women's gold medal beach volleyball match at the 2012 Summer Olympics, Wednesday, Aug. 8, 2012, in London.

United States' Kerri Walsh Jennings, right, and Misty...

Photo by Associated Press /Times Free Press.

We're starting to wind down in the Olympics. The 5-at-10 is also starting to wind up our high school football preview. Let's review some of the top Olympic happenings from Wednesday.

- Beach Volleyball: Congrats to Misty May-Treanor and Kerri (Don't call me Brenda) Walsh Jennings for three-peating. Let's throw this out there, there is no three-peat like the Olympic three-peat. That's 12 years of championship-inating. (Yes, we made that word up.) It's also seizing the moment, which for the 5-at-10 is one of the ultimate marks of a champion. Think of it this way, if LeBron and the Heatles don't win the NBA title next year, they get another chance in 12 months. For MMT and K-Jen, one slip in the sand and it's four years before redemption.

(Side note: The entire 5-at-10 audience is pulling for the U.S. to top Long Duck and the Chinese in the medal count. If not, well, then click somewhere else. In fact, we enjoyed the strategery Todd962 was tossing around to increase the U.S. of A.'s chances. Here's our question: Do you think somewhere in China someone, let's call him Tang962, is complaining about beach volleyball being an Olympic sport? We say yes, and for Mr. Tang962 across the Pacific, we say game, set, spike. U-S-A! U-S-A!)

- As of 8 a.m. this morning the U.S. is leading the medal race 81-77 over China, but they have more golds. And if you think the 5-at-10 wants to win at both, well, you bet we do. We're American by Golly.

- The U.S. Dream Team part II will face the Spain Gasols in the semifinals Friday. Finish the drill boys, finish the drill.

- Apparently Yohan Blake, a Jamaican sprinter who could win the 200 meters, wears a watch when he races that is worth $500,000. OK, unless a time piece needs 1.21 gigawatts and can actually break the time-space continuum, there is no watch that's worth half a million. Period.

- Lolo Jones, it's time to stop talking for a while, OK sweetie. You enjoyed being the media darling - and cashing the checks from sponsors - so when things turn don't blame the media for your troubles.

UT football update

University of Tennessee NCAA college football defensive coordinator Sal Sunseri talks to reporters at the indoor practice facilty on the school campus in Knoxville, Tenn., Wednesday, Feb. 8, 2012.

University of Tennessee NCAA college football defensive coordinator...

Photo by Associated Press /Times Free Press.

We have to admit, we were less than sold on UT's hiring of Sal Sunseri as the Vols' defensive coordinator. Sure Sal appears to be a nice dude and there's no doubt he knows the working end of a football.

Regardless, dude was a defensive assistant under a defensively brilliant head coach in Nick Saban. As a fair comparison, name the last former Steve Spurrier offensive assistant that made ways after leaving the shadow of Lord Visor. Limited group, huh?

That said, we believe UT's defensive talent - at least the starters, since the Vols are still fighting the depth challenges left by the Kiffin debacle of '09 - is better than most give it credit it for.

And since we just admitted that we think UT's starting defense is more talented than most think, we were still stunned by Sunseri offering the following statement:

"I didn't realize this until I finally got the two of them out there together, but those two kids might be the finest young linebackers that I have ever coached," Sunseri said.

Granted, as our man Salsa pointed out, he did clarify it a bit, but still. Sal just worked with two guys drafted in the top 35 picks and two more - C.J. Moseley and Trey DePriest - that will be NFL bound and A.J. Johnson and Curt Maggitt are already to that level? If that's the case, UT's defense is going to better than anyone expects.

On an Orangely related note, UT quarterback and Tyler "Ebby Calvin 'Nuke' Laloosh" Bray was in court Wednesday to answer about his "hotdogging" on a jet ski over the Fourth of July holiday. First, what is there to do on a jetski other than hot dog?

That said, has there been a quarterback since Stephen Garcia that consistently finds his way into the line of trouble more frequently than Bray? Sure, this is not a major deal, but this is yet another twist and turn in the winding road that is the trigger man of the UT offense and the guy that holds the key to Johnny Vols Fan's autumn happiness in his million-dollar right arm. And remember, this jet ski "hotdogging" was almost exactly two weeks before Bray appeared in Hoover, Ala., before the SEC media day flock and discussed his increased maturity and leadership.

If you're Derek Dooley, how well do you sleep at night knowing your season - and possibly your job - rests greatly on Bray and Da'Rick Rogers delivering in the clutch?

Major major majoring in major BID-ness

Ed Heimann, chairman of the Board for Hamilton Tailoring Co., holds the Green Jacket for the Masters Golf Tournament in this file photo.

Ed Heimann, chairman of the Board for Hamilton...

Photo by Associated Press /Times Free Press.

Have we discussed how great Major Burns was on the TV show MASH? And yes, we knew Larry Linville played him and did virtually nothing else this side of Match Game, which employed a ton of former MASH-ers. (Side note: If they had an all-time TV show softball league, MASH-ers is the leader in the clubhouse for best team name, right? Here's a quick Rushmore - MASH-ers, Frasier Cranes, I Love Lucy Ballers and Wipeout (underrated summertime fun that Wipeout, by the way.)

OK, where were we? Oh yes, ranking the majors. We think the Major combo of Frank Burns (played by Linville on TV and Robert Duvall in the movie) and Margaret Houlihan eases by the PGA Championship in a close finish that did not include Lolo Jones in the top 10. Sorry, and we hope this does not count making fun.

Here's our top 10 of majors

1) The Masters

2) The British Open

3) Wimbledon

4) The U.S. Open (golf)

5) Major League (this first one was pretty strong)

6) The U.S. Open (tennis)

7) Majors Burns and Houlihan

8) The French Open

9) The PGA Championship

10) The Australian Open

Anyhoo, we're sure we forget a few entries - football preview stuff has been killing us - and if you don't see your name, let us know. We'll update the final list at noon today.

What we have so far in the PGA Double Play:

5-at-10 - Kuchar and Dufner

Mrs. 5-at-10 - Johnson and Rory

Sportsfan - Stricker and Scott

StuckinKent - Lee Westwood and Tiger Woods

Dawg747 - Kuchar and Els

Todd962 - Steve Stricker and Zach Johnson

addictedtochalupa - Zack Johnson and Vijay Singh.

BIspy4 - Snedeker and McDowell.

FEChancellor - Rory and Keegan Bradley

McPell - Tiger and Dufner

OrdinaryGuy - Tiger and Bubba Watson

BlueOval - Matt Kuchar and Zach Johnson

TFP golf ace David Uchiyama - Snedeker and Fowler (although Uch had as one of his alternates the Little 5-at-10 tot, who last week made a legit 29 tee to green on the par 5 No. 1 at Signal - major props)

OTwatcher - Oooooooosthuizen and McDowell

Jefe - Bubba and Webb Simpson

Weena - Dustin Johnson and Keegan Bradley

ThatIDoKnow - Dufner and McDowell

This and that

This photo provided by the Grayson County, Texas, Sheriff's Office shows Country singer Randy Travis who has been charged with driving while intoxicated. Travis was released on $21,500 bond Wednesday morning, Aug. 8, 2012 from the Grayson County jail in Sherman, Texas, about 60 miles north of Dallas.

This photo provided by the Grayson County, Texas,...

Photo by Associated Press /Times Free Press.

- OK, we readily admit we grew up a fan of country music. In fact we listened to George Strait on one cassette and Eazy E on the next. We're eclectic like that. However, the latest story about Randy Travis - dude gets stopped driving his car liquored up and then confronts and threatens the arresting officer. Sadly, this has happened to lots of folks, but did we mention that Randy was naked and proceeded to try to fight the officer only to get his tail whipped (while naked) by the cop. Granted, we're a little twisted, but what song would you be singing kicking the stuffing out of a naked Randy Travis? Gotta be "Diggin' up Bones" right? How about "Better Class of Loser" or even "Honky Tonk Moon" maybe?

- Taking the Randy Travis thing further, here's a twitter photo of Randy leaving the police station, and you have to love the blue prison scrubs he's leaving in. We could not help but notice that Randy was leaving the hoosegow with a Texas hat on, and this had to make every Oklahoma fan everywhere smile. This may rank No. 2 behind Casey Anthony wearing an Ohio State University hat on the bad pub scale.

- Braves torched the Philles. Did anyone watch this? Two questions: First, is Philadelphia manager Charlie Manuel still alive or have the Phillies gone completely "Weekend at Bernie's" on the National League? Second, is it us or are Chip and Joe getting worse? And we did not think Chip and Joe could get worse. In the opposite universe, this would be like LeBron becoming a 43-percent shooter from 3. It's just not fair and seems impossible.

- Speaking of TV gigs, now that Michael Phelps has retired, does NBC even give Rowdy Gaines a plane ticket back to the states? Seriously, Gaines' fate is more sealed than Fredo's was in Cuba midway through "The Godfather II" because there's no way Phelps is not working for NBC in Rio de Janeiro right? And do you need three people on a swimming announcing team?

- One more TV note, the NFL preseason starts in earnest tonight, and while that means there will be a bunch of mediocre football played by folks we don't know, our local kid trying to make good has a big night in front of him. According to some folks we know, former McCallie star and UTC quarterback B.J. Coleman will play most of the fourth quarter for the Packers tonight on ESPN against the Chargers. We know we'll be watching. Good luck B.J.

Today's question

There are littered question marks throughout today's 5-at-10. Seriously, there's more than a dozen and some of them are even serious.

So today, you have to pick one of the above questions before answering today's question. Then answer this: If Tyler Bray being arrested for just about anything is the bottom 1 on surprise meter and Mel Gibson going from "Lethal Weapon," "Braveheart," etc., to raging nut bar is the peak 10 on the surprising celebrity trouble with the law gauge.

Where does Randy Travis rank? We consider it a solid 8 considering the kicker of the naked fight with the police.

Discuss and feel free to throw out any others we might need to consider.