We're looking for a top-five list for our annual Fourth of July abbreviated 5-at-10. Plus, we are headed to the lake this weekend, so any mailbag questions that we could handle early would be much appreciated.
From the "Talks Too Much" studios, let's get to it...
Welcome to Atlanta, Danny Ferry. And are you related to General Sherman?
Ferry arrived as the Atlanta Hawks new general manager about 48 hours before last week's NBA draft. (We love the draft, but you know this.) And he has proceeded to burn down the Hawks since then.
Ferry has added an elite shooter with first-round pick John Jenkins, dealt his best player in Joe Johnson and ended the career of the single worst draft pick in franchise history by dealing Marvin Williams.
So what have you done in the last week?
While dealing Johnson and Williams for a collection of stiffs that make the cast of "Twilight" look animated, Ferry has done three things that make the two deals appear to be steals for the Hawks.
- By unloading more than $100 million in contracts over the next four years, the Hawks can be players in the free agent market.
- Ferry opened the Hawks' free-agent options while keeping a somewhat respectable nucleus in tact with point guard Jeff Teague, Jenkins, Josh Smith and Al Horford.
- And if the Hawks as rumored are on the short list of potential homes for soon-to-be free agents Dwight Howard (who grew up in the A-T-L) and even Chris Paul, well, we're not an NBA expert, but that would seem to be pretty above average.
And even if it blows up in Ferry's face, he deserves credit for trying something because we all know that the pinnacle for the team the Hawks had assembled was a second-round playoff exit. And that's not a good enough ceiling.
Plus, in the NBA era of super teams and schedule fillers, there is no in between without star power.
We were floored by the numbers from Tiger Woods' win this weekend.
No, not the scores or even the prize money. Not even the 74 - the number of career wins that Woods now has, a total that ranks second all-time behind Sam Snead's 82.
No the overpowering number was 4.8, which was the TV share Sunday's coverage drew with Woods in contention. Last year, the same tournament without Woods in the mix drew a 1.7. That means to the common American sports fan/viewer, Tiger Woods is bigger than golf, and it's not close. Let that soak in for a bit.
We're always going to watch the Masters and the British Open and more times than not the U.S. Open too. Those are about the events and the venues and the pride and pressure. They are majors. But in every other golf event, Woods is bigger than any tournament. Period.
Here's our Rushmore of needle-moving individuals in our lifetime: Woods, Tyson, Jordan, Magic/Larry. The first three are no-brainers, and golf's worst nightmare is it has a similar fall post-Woods as boxing did post-Tyson. Jordan was a dunk (see what we did there, 9er?), and we went with the Magic/Larry combo over Dale Sr. for the following reason - Magic and Larry saved the NBA from itself, and remember that when those two came into the league there were still some playoff games being shown tape-delayed on CBS after the prime-time schedule.
Because we messed it up Monday, we need to clarify that "Ted" the movie that mixes the humor of Andrew "Dice" Clay with the cuddly of Teddy Ruxpin had the highest-grossing opening weekend of an R-rated original comedy. Thanks to LaughingBoy for catching our mistake, and like a true 5-at-10 fanatic, Laughter went the extra mile.
From Monday's comments from Laughter himself (well-played indeed, sir): Top grossing R rated comedies in millions 1-The Hangover, $277.3, 09 2-The Hangover II, $254.5, 11 3-Beverly Hills Cop, $234.8, 84 4-Wedding Crashers, $209.3, 05 5-There's Something About Mary, $176.5, 98 6-Bridesmaids, $169.1, 11 7-Scary Movie, $157.0, 00 8-Beverly Hills Cop II, $153.7, 87 (LaughingBoy's first date movie, they were not very strict on enforcing the 18+ requirement) 9-Knocked Up, $148.8, 07 10-American Pie II, $145.1.
A better comparison is money made adjusted for inflation since this gives me a reason to mention several of my favorites:
1-Beverly Hills Cop, $531.8 2-Blazing Saddles, $500.8, 74 3-Animal House, $406.5, 78 4-Beverly Hills Cop II, $311.3, 87 5-Stir Crazy, $298.3, 80 6-There's Something About Mary, $296.8 7-The Hangover, $294.4 8-Porky's, $284.2, 82 9-Wedding Crashers, $258.6 10-The Hangover II, $250.2
OK, the questions are obvious, so we'll start:
First, was there any doubt that LaughingBoy was going to be the 5-at-10 fanatic that had the skinny on comedy movies? There is something comforting in that.
Second, if you are looking for the rock-solid living example of, "There's no accounting for taste," just know that "Scary Movie" is among the top-10 grossing R-rated comedies of all-time.
Third, as great as we know it to be, "Blazing Saddles" has to be a first-team pick on the comedy Tim Duncan all-stars right? Remember the Tim Duncan all-stars is the truly elite players of a generation that for some reason or another are still underrated. Here's our comedy Tim Duncan first-team: "Blazing Saddles," "Coming to America," "Fletch," "Raising Arizona" and Eddie Murphy's "Raw."
Finally, as much as the special effects have changed action movies to the unbelievable, the special effects of comedies have had a similar effect, only the films have been skewed younger and more digital. Think of it this way: That list that LB shared was of R-rated comedies, and the leader was "The Hangover," which finished a hiccup short of $300 million. Well, the top-grossing comedy ever is "Toy Story 3" at more than a $1 billion - yes billion with a "B." Heck, there are three Shrek movies that made more than $750 million each.
This and that
- There are certain pitchers who struggle against the rest of the free world and look like Greg Maddux against the Atlanta Braves. Jeff Smardzjiasngjhsldfhjd (or however it's spelled) of the Cubs is one of those guys. Dude may well finish the regular season 4-12, but he'll collect rent at Turner Field. In his eight previous starts before fanning 11 Braves in seven strong innings of Monday's 4-1 win over Atlanta, Samardzija was 1-6 and had allowed 35 earned runs in 43.2 innings.
- Also of note: Jeff Samardzija has a boss mullet.
- The Paterno family is asking the attorney general to open the case file in an effort to clear Joe Paterno's name. That seems fair since Paterno can not answer his accusers, a group that includes a few soulless sons of guns that appear willing to do anything to either protect themselves and/or stay out of jail. Word of caution, though: If you ask to open the file, there's no telling what will come out. And when the truth gets spilled, everyone can get wet. (Spy, feel free to use that one - heck, we may even deal it to a fortune cookie company.)
- NFL camps start soon. We may have a group fantasy football challenge. Anyone interested?
- We're 58 days from the opening Thursday night of the season. We're 59 days away from Tennessee's opener against N.C. State, and friend of the show Dr. B (he's a doctor after all) probably thinks the Vols will score 59 points or something crazy like that.
We're giving everyone the option of Chas9's excellent question from Monday: If your daughter/sister said she was dating an A-list Hollywood actor, would your biggest fear be Charlie Sheen or Tom Cruise?
Is there another, and remember we're talking A-list, Spy, and that's A-list of regular movies. (You know what we're talking about.)