From Chas -
Questions for Friday: Auriema or Summit? What did Merle and Johnny have that none of the young pups can match?
Chas -
Auriemma and it's a divide that is growing with each year. What he's doing is crazy, in an era when the rest of his sport is filled with parity. Summitt helped build the sport, for sure, but Auriemma is doing things that transcend women's basketball and is drawing comparisons to the greatest coaching jobs in all of sports.
That's staggering.
As for the Merle and Johnny part, that's easy. Those guys were outlaws who could sing; these clowns today are signers who want us to believe they are outlaws.
You can fake singing way easier than you can fake hard. Merle and Johnny and the rest of those guys sang about lives we could recognize; the puppets of today are singing about lives Hollywood has scripted.
FILE - In this April 11, 1965 file photo, Jack Nicklaus prepares to toss his ball down the fairway after he putted out to win the Masters Championship at Augusta National Golf Club in Augusta, Ga. Nicklaus was tied with Gary Player and Arnold Palmer after 36 holes and wound up winning by nine shots over both of them. He set the tournament record at 271. (AP Photo/File) From Jomo
JG - for the mailbag. No one has ever shot all four rounds in the 60's at the Masters. Do you think that is a record that will ever be broken? And why do you think it has lasted so long?
Jomo -
Great question, Jomo.
Not sure why that has never been done, but it's kind of amazing. A couple of things can make four days of good scoring really difficult.
First, the course has such a range of possibilities, especially for the pin placements, that they can set it up where par feels like 76 or par feels like 68. That's part of the fun of this major too, is that unpredictability.
Second, the spring weather in the South very seldom allows for four calm warm days. Be it the wind or the rain or what have you, that also makes four near-perfect rounds nearly impossible.
It feels like that's a mark that should be broken at some point, you know? That said, we're working on Masters No. 80 and who knows, maybe someone has it in them this year, but we're not betting on it.
Here's the Masters contest
It's time. The tradition unlike any other.
Here's what we have for entries into the Masterfully Mastering the Masters Challenge, and as always, if you see something wrong, please let me know:
Mrs. 5-at-10 - Rory, Bubba, Sergio, Spieth, Z. Johnson
5-at-10 - Jason Day, Phil, Bubba, Rory, Jordan Spieth
Scott C - Spieth, Rose, McIlroy, Day, Poulter
ETSUBuc13 - Adam Scott, Rickie fowler, bubba Watson, Phil Mickelson and Jason day
Mark Smith - Rose, Mickelson, Spieth, Day, Sneddeker
Jomo - Jason Day, Dustin Johnson, Rory, Oostenheizen and Stenson
Jeff - Day, Spieth, Rose, Rory, Matsuyama
DanC - Rory McIlroy, Justin Rose, Henrik Stenson, Jason Day and Bill Haas
AUsome - Rory, Day, Spieth, Mickelson, Dufner
Smokey's Revenge - Jason Day, Rory Mcllroy, Henrik Stenson, Hideki Matsuyama, and Jordan Spieth
Believer - Spieth, Mickelson, Z. Johnson, Bubba, Day
OG - Bubba, Jordan, Zach (Johnson), Rory, and yes Tiger.
scole023 - Jordan, Sergio, J. Rose, Oosthusen, Day
Andrew A. - Day, Fowler, Garcia, Mahan, El Pato
Ted - Jordan, Day, Rose, Bubba, Stenson
Scottie B - Rose, McIlroy, Dustin Johnson, Day, Bubba
Mike - Stenson, Dechambeau, Spieth, Rose, Casey
David U. - Phil, Sneds, Louis Oosthuizen, Rickie, Rory
Pete W. - Phil, Rory, Spieth, Day Matsuyama
Billy in Brainerd - Henrik Stenson, Louis Oosthuizen, Hideki Matsuyama, Brent Snedeker, Marc Leishman
Jefe - Spieth, Scott, Bubba, Rose, Sneddeker
James B. - Angel Cabrera, Jordan Speith, Jason Day, Adam Scott, Bubba Watson
Jason T - Dufner, Sergio, Els, Mickelson, Day
Sportsfan - Sergio, Rickie Fowler, Mickelson, Justin Rose, Adam Scott
ThatIKnow - Day, Spieht, Garcia, McDowell, Mickelson
Mark W. - R. McIlroy, J. Spieth, J. Day, D. Johnson, J. Rose
Smithson - Day, Spieth, McIlroy, Fowler, Scott
Dawg747 - RORY MCILROY, ADAM SCOTT, RICKY FOWLER, JASON DAY, BUBBA WATSON
Paul P. - Day, Scott, Spieth, Holmes, Stenson
Charles A. - Aphinbarnrat, Oosthuizen, Schwartzel, English, Day (with explanation below)
From Charles
You know it's Masters week when Paschall gets so jazzed up that his vocal pitch extends beyond frequencies only dogs can hear. I haven't heard him this pumped up since Oingo Boingo opened for Wang Chung at the Tivoli back in '83 (Spandau Ballet headlining with Bananarama at the Muny in '84 is a close second*[see footnotes]). Regardless, it's time to announce my Masters picks.
Sadly, Joost Luiten failed to qualify this year. But fret not, kemosabe, there is a new "name" on the horizon. That name is Kiradech Aphinbarnrat. "Aphinbarnrat" is loosely translated from Thai as "He who loveth the rats of the barn and, in turn, the barn-rats loveth him as well."**
As for my other four, give me Louis Oosthuizen (he put the "oooohhh" in Oostuizen), Charl Scwartzel (May the Schwartzel be with You), Harris English (while he seems like a rosy-cheeked, blue-blood local boy; the face he makes while watching a 230 yard 4-iron go 5 feet off line makes me think that he's killed, and he will kill again***) and Jason Day (well, there's no joke here, he's just really good and he's on my team).
In summation, give me these five: Aphinbarnrat, Oosthuizen, Schwartzel, English, and Day.
Footnotes:
* - Spandau Ballet has an existing restraining order (See People v. D. Paschall)
**- see translation footnotes located under your laptop or desktop for verification
***- disregard any comments regarding Mr. English's identity or alleged actions. He is not, nor has he ever been known as "Joey Cusack," "Eddie 'Slick Fingers,' "Frankie the Vig," "Pete the Killer," "Jimmy Two Times" (who got that name by saying, "I'm goin' to play in the Masters...play in the Masters)
Good day, Sir!
As for my question, What is the best accessible golf course in the Chattanooga area considering play-ability for scratch to mid-handicappers? Obviously the Honors, etc. are out of the question.
Charles -
We thought twice about including this email since, well, it's not always polite to be funnier than the host, but in this case we will relent in the interest of the readers.
Well-played sir - like slow golf clap from oafish athlete in a B-minus 1980s movie (think the big dude in "Can't Buy Me Love" after Ronnie's speech to the group at lunch) - very well-played.
In truth, though, we don't believe you could find a jury of 12 well-minded folks who would convict anyone for crimes the British group that combined disco tendencies with some electro-pop and a little post-punk poop. Especially Paschall, who has the reputation of a saint around the 423.
As for your question, we think Bear Trace is an excellent track and greatly enjoy it. We also think Brainerd is underrated; it is very playable and very enjoyable (minus the random stray drive by gun shot, of course, but that could have been ol' Jimmy Two Times, he's going to get the papers, get the papers, after all.)
Thanks Charles and enjoy the Masters weekend.
From Terry
Are you going to be able to stay positive about the Braves all season? I give you until May 1st. (And if they bring Uggla back, I give you until April 21st.)
Terry -
Thanks for the kind words, and why not. The Braves have been completely open about what their goal is. That goal has nothing to do with 2016. In fact, adding high draft picks to the mix will only help.
So we're all in with this lovable bunch of no-chance outcasts (and Freddie Freeman). Who's with us?
And because we do things like this, it was 42 years ago today that Hank Aaron hit 715. I was there - sound asleep mind you - but there anyway.
What's the best "You were there?" sports moment you guys have?
(I was also at Augusta when Tiger chipped in from behind the 16 green. Loudest we've ever heard that place.)