OK, who loves to hunt entertainment more than us? Be it a Masters pool, a March Madness bracket or the ever-loving flow of college football picks around these parts, we all love to be entertained, right?
(If we had to do a quick Rushmore of the most "talented" entertainers ever, who you got? We think of the many talents of a guy like Sinatra, the elite moves and range of Elvis and/or Michael Jackson and the amazing versatility and elite humor of a young Eddie Murphy. We can't forget Carrot Top and Gallagher, too. This will be tough.)
Anyway, where were we? Oh yes, entertainment. This year, our NFL postseason picks have been the model of mediocrity. We are 4-4 after two weeks, which means with the added surcharges for non-entertaining picks and buying the half, we are in a slight hole. Not like the senator's daughter in "Silence of the Lambs." More like the chubby gopher stuck in the hole in "Caddyshack."
Of course, after a college football season at 60 percent - a number we were quite proud of against the spread - our entertainment prowess took a kick to the shins when the Magic 8 Ball went 4-0 last weekend.
For that, the Magic 8 Ball is in timeout. Hey, get your own column, Magic 8 Ball.
So we'll offer our four picks this week on the two NFL games. (Remember, the over/under is the total number of points Vegas sets, and if the two teams score more than that, it's over - and vice versa.)
New England minus-3 over Denver. It's funny how the narrative here has been about the trash talking rather than the likely last meeting between Peyton and Brady. Alas. Here's what we know: If the Patriots win, they will set the record for most Super Bowl appearances with nine. The Patriots. If Brady wins, he has a chance for history with a fifth Super Bowl ring. For perspective, that would mean Tom Brady has 10 percent of the Super Bowl titles ever. Ever. Wow. We're a little surprised the line was still only a field goal - yes, buy the half of course.
New England-Denver under 44.5. Anyone think the Patriots are content winning 21-6? Of course. Anyone believe the only chance the Broncos have here is for it to be a 17-17 game going into the final two minutes? Yes, yes we do. Each scenario involves staying slow (which, in a lot of ways, is each team's goal). That screams under.
Carolina minus-3 over Arizona. OK, the Cardinals have looked dreadful recently and are lucky to still be here. The Panthers have lost once all season, and that was when they played poorly at Atlanta and the Falcons needed super Julio Jones things to win. We expect a great game here - in fact, this could be the rare 3-point line in which you could take a two-game teaser with each side and float the line accordingly - because it's for the NFC championship. The past eight NFC title games have been decided by one score, and four of the past eight went to overtime. Games that close magnify home-field advantage, but absolutely buy the half. And buckle up.
Carolina-Arizona under 48.5. Two of the highest-scoring teams in the league meet and we're taking the under? You betcha. Couple of things: One, weather could be a real factor, especially for the warm-weather, climate-controlled Cardinals. Two, we expect some offensive hiccups because of the pressure on a couple of quarterbacks who had great years but are not fixtures in the springboard to the Super Bowl.
Last week against the spread: 2-2 (50 percent)
NFL playoffs against the spread: 4-4 (50 percent)
Contact Jay Greeson at jgreeson@timesfreepress.com or 423-757-6343. Follow him on Twitter @jgreesontfp.