Mark WiedmerAt 12:35 this afternoon, Chattanooga native and 1978 Central High School graduate Kip Henley will stand just off the No. 1 tee at Augusta National Golf Club and watch his boss for the week, Vijay Singh, launch his opening drive of the 2017 Masters.
"My fourth time (as a caddie)," Henley said by phone Wednesday during inclement weather that had everyone off the course. "They treat us like kings here. Anything you want. You turn in your bib at the end of the day and they hand you a beer. It's the coolest place. As a caddie, nothing touches it."
In truth, the 56-year-old Henley has been getting at least a touch or two of the most famous golf tournament on the planet since 1977, when he and a few of his Central buddies drove down to watch a Tuesday practice round.
"Tickets were $12 at the gate," he recalled. "We'd skipped school, we were broke as could be. But we had enough money to get in and buy three or four barbecue chicken sandwiches each out on the course. It was amazing."
It was so amazing that they decided to do the same thing a year later, only they decided to go on Wednesday in order to catch the Par 3 Contest.
"We again budgeted for a $12 ticket and the sandwiches," he said. "But we didn't know that on Wednesday the tickets went up to $15 because of the Par 3 tourney. So we had to cut back on the sandwiches."
When it comes to fun, Henley has never cut back on much in his life. His Twitter offerings are legendary, his followers up to 29,000 and growing.
One example: When someone tweeted something about his robust figure earlier this week, he fired back: "Lol. My man! The TV adds 75 pounds is what they say. I think."
A second offering: When asked how long he'd been working with Singh, Henley replied, "Since Thursday. We have never lost a tournament yet."
A third: Asked his favorite foreign country to caddie in, he tweeted: "Alabama."
Yet that's just the tassel on top of the head cover regarding Henley's fame. There's the Golf Channel's "Big Break II" he won in 2004. There's the time he posted pictures of himself somewhat naked - thanks to a sock, a gas can and a weed-eater to cover his private areas - while cutting grass after he promised to mow the lawn of any golfer who shot 8 under or better at the 2011 U.S. Open. Rory McIlroy shot 16 under to win.
There's also the time he famously chased an alligator back into a pond with a rake at the 2012 RBC Heritage while caddying for Brian Gay, the Tour golfer he has been most consistently paired with since 2006.
Finally, there's the time he qualified for the FedEx St. Jude Classic in 2011, thanks to winning Tennessee's PGA Section championship. With his actress/model daughter Stormi flying into Memphis from Los Angeles to caddie for him, Henley fired an 82 and 78 over the first two days, then left the following note in the clubhouse for his fellow professionals:
Dear PGA Tour players,
I vow to never step into your arena as a participant again.
Regrettably,
Kip Henley
From moments such as those does Henley figure to become a full-time media star as soon as he hangs up his caddie's bibs. And listening to him discuss the physical grind of Augusta, that might be sooner than later.
"A tough walk," he said. "Going up (No.) 5 is a tough pull. Going up 8 is a miserably tough pull. Going up 17 and 18 is like scaling Mount Everest."
Yet when Singh first approached him 11 days ago to work the Masters, Henley wasn't about to say no.
"Vijay intimidates a lot of people," he said, "but he's respected my openness about his golf game."
That might be because Singh - who won the 2000 Masters as well as the PGA Championship in 1998 and 2004 - has missed the cut in four straight tourneys.
"Vijay may be past his best days," Henley said, "but he still has plenty of firepower to win this tournament. And he's all about golf. He hits four buckets of balls, and he's just warming up."
Henley says his task is to work on Singh's "pre-shot routine. Clear his brain. Let his right brain, his creative side, come into play more. The great thing about Vijay is he's a sponge for information. If I told him to hit left-handed, he'd try it."
Trying to capture the essence of Augusta National, Henley repeated the words of a long-time member who told Henley earlier this week, "We don't have a lot of rules around here, but we sure do have a lot of suggestions."
If there have been a lot of special moments in Henley's life, entering the Chattanooga Sports Hall of Fame last month - just as his softball-playing father Sammy had years before - was perhaps his most recent one until Singh called.
"Ten years ago, I probably could have cared less," he said of the night he shared with his wife Sissi, daughters Darbi and Stormi, brothers Lindy and Brent and sister Suzette, who flew in from New York City. "But I look at it different now. I'm so proud of Chattanooga golf. This honored golf in this town as much as it honored me."
Apparently soon to be a grandfather, Henley was asked via Twitter on Wednesday if he'd be honored to be called Granpa, Grampy or Paw. Said Henley: "I'm thinking Booger."
Yet if you think his Twitter army, his TV fame or caddying at the Masters are his life's highlights, you're wrong.
Befitting a guy whose job is to remain grounded when his employer is losing his mind, Henley answered a question about his greatest thrills thusly: "No, my greatest thrills are at home with my wife and with my family."
If that's not a rule for all of us to live by, it's at least a really good suggestion.
Contact Mark Wiedmer at mwiedmer@timesfreepress.com.