Perhaps you were one of the lucky ones Monday. Every gift Santa brought you not only was exactly what you wanted but also arrived in the perfect color and size.
So you won't have to fight the masses today in seeking refunds or exchanges. You won't have to worry about a lost receipt or the person in front of you who apparently needs to take back half of Santa's gifts sack, then needs at least a third of those items rewrapped because, secretly, she's about to regift them to the relatives arriving later this week from South Dakota.
Unfortunately, most of us fall into a far larger, less fortunate group. We are filled with at least some form of regret regarding the last 24 hours. We realized too late that we'd asked for the wrong gift. Or we wish we'd chosen in-laws with better taste in sweaters. Or perhaps that while we're proud our children understand it's the thought that counts, our kitchen cabinets can hold only so many one-of-a-kind coffee mugs.
And so it is that for the sixth or seventh straight Dec. 26 - either my memory is failing or the, um, flavoring to my egg nog is kicking in, or both - we list a half-dozen items that our nation's sports celebrities could take back from 2017.
» No. 6: Auburn coach Gus Malzahn's declaration after the Tigers' decisive 40-17 rout of then-No. 1 Georgia that - though he apparently intended it for a friend and not the media - "we whipped the dog crap out of them, didn't we?"
Maybe it played a role in the Dawgs' 28-7 revenge win in the SEC championship game three weeks later inside Mercedes-Benz Stadium and maybe it didn't, but Malzahn almost certainly wishes he'd kept his glee to himself until he was by himself, or at least out of the range of audio and video recorders.
» No. 5: Miami Dolphins offensive line coach Chris Foerster's drug video. When you're a 56-year-old married man with kids and you're making more than $2.5 million a year as one of the NFL's highest-paid assistants, you'd think you'd have more common sense than to not only mess around with cocaine but video yourself snorting the illegal drug, then send the video to your girlfriend.
But that's just what Foerster did in early October, which not only almost instantly cost him his job once it went viral, but also now threatens his marriage and his career. But at least it provides Fins fans a reasonable reason beyond veteran quarterback Jay Cutler as to why the Miami offense is so awful.
» No. 4: Tennessee's last-second loss in the Swamp to Florida. Much like two years ago in Gainesville, the Vols surrendered a 63-yard touchdown pass to the Gators on a fourth-down play inside the final two minutes. Unlike two years earlier, this one happened on the final snap of the game, which guaranteed a 26-20 UT defeat and began the rather endless drumbeat to fire Butch Jones.
And that beat reached deafening level as soon as Jones admitted less than 48 hours later that the Gators ran basically the same play - though to a different receiver - that had broken Big Orange hearts in 2015.
» No. 3: A member of the Louisville basketball staff discussing, on video, with Adidas representatives to funnel $100,000 to high school All-American Brian Bowen to sign with the Cardinals. That act, caught by the FBI, ultimately cost coach Hall of Fame coach Rick Pitino and athletic director Tom Jurich their jobs and probably will wreck the Cards program for years to come.
Remember the kinder, gentler days of major college basketball when stories such as this of widespread corruption were only rumors?
» No. 2: In almost every corner of the country except the Tennessee Valley, the Atlanta Falcons' fourth-quarter Super Bowl collapse would be No. 1 on this list. But all those other outposts weren't trying to replace a very mediocre football coach, as Tennessee was in its seemingly endless search to replace Butch Jones.
Still, blowing a 28-3 lead in the final half while wretchedly mishandling the game clock and looking tired and overmatched in the 34-28 overtime loss to the New England Patriots is tough to ignore.
And given that the Falcons could still miss the playoffs this year, it's fairly obvious that the Big Peach's lone NFL franchise is yet to recover from that unfathomable loss.
» No. 1: Former Tennessee athletic director John Currie's disastrous football coaching search. After attempting to convince his fan base that using no search firm would be no problem, Currie ran into nothing but problems almost immediately.
Not only did the school's web addicts - call them the Volgilantes - apparently force Currie to abandon his five-hour hire of former Rutgers coach and current Ohio State defensive coordinator Greg Schiano, but before Currie was canned less than three weeks later in favor of former football coach Phillip Fulmer, at least five other coaches had said thanks but no thanks.
The eventual hiring of Alabama defensive coordinator Jeremy Pruitt by Fulmer seemed to underscore the point that all's well that ends well, but if Currie had chosen the career assistant at the start of this search instead of Fulmer reaching out to him 25 days after Butch Jones was fired, one can only imagine how everyone from the Volgilantes to the 80-year-old fan cheering each autumn from his Lay-Z-Boy would have reacted.
One guesses if they could have found a way to return him to his assistant's office at Bama, they would have.
Contact Mark Wiedmer at mwiedmer@timesfreepress.com.