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Lisa Denton

Stories by Lisa

Bumper sticker spotted on a pickup truck in Red Bank: “My ADD child can run circles around your honor student.”

BARRY COURTER: Lisa, you know that I spend most of my days off from work doing fun and relaxing things around my house like painting, plumbing or yard work.

How does a person decide whom to marry?

LISA DENTON: Barry, if I said, "Let's chase each other around the room tonight," would your first thought be about Merle Haggard?

The lights are on in the windows again, but customers of Cheezee's in Dayton, Tenn., won't find the Southern-style cooking that originated there several years ago.

“What am I supposed to do with this?” grumbled the motorist when the police clerk handed him a receipt after he paid his traffic fine.

LISA DENTON: Barry, one of my favorite days of the year is coming up.

LISA DENTON: Barry, I'm a little jealous that you got to talk to a great musician with one of the coolest names in the industry. How was Dweezil Zappa?

LISA DENTON: Barry, if you've been thinking it's time to buy a boat, you can get a look at your options this weekend at the Chattanooga Boat & Sport Show. It runs Thursday through Sunday at the Chattanooga Convention Center.

LISA DENTON: Barry, I've been wondering what our nicknames might be if we played basketball for the Harlem Globetrotters.

A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother.

The first three weeks of December always seem weighted with ways to kick-start the holiday season, with festive parades, "Nutcracker" ballets and even singing Christmas trees crowding the calendar.

People are making jokes about the apocalypse like there's no tomorrow.

LISA DENTON: Barry, I know you caught part of the televised 12-12-12 Concert for Sandy Relief last week, and there's a chance to take in a local version at Rhythm & Brews on Tuesday.

A small boy forgot his lines in the Christmas drama presentation. His mother, sitting in the front row tried to prompt him, gesturing and forming the words silently with her lips, but it didn't help. Her son's mind had gone blank.

LISA DENTON: Barry, I still laugh when I remember our conversation last week when I thought you'd be as excited as I am about the Hall & Oates concert tonight at Memorial Auditorium. I said, "We should go," and you said ... BARRY COURTER: "I can't go for that."

A Sunday school teacher was concerned that his class of preschoolers would think that the story of Jesus' birth was "just another Christmas story."

Members of the Choo Choo Chorus hope to post some impressive numbers in a concert Saturday, Dec. 8.

LISA DENTON: Barry, I found out last week that someone has procured me a ticket to see John Michael Montgomery Friday night at Memorial Auditorium.

Two hunters are dragging their dead deer back to their truck when another hunter approaches, pulling his kill.

LISA DENTON: Barry, you seem to be going through some kind of withdrawal, and I'm betting it's because Chattanooga Market was closed Sunday.

In a previous incarnation in downtown Dayton, Tenn., Jacob Myers Deli was a hotspot -- both for its good food and its free Wi-Fi.

BARRY COURTER: Lisa, so I guess it's fair to assume you've been in training, working on your Soddy karate. You know, doing some aerobics and working the heavy bag with your elbows and pointy shoes. 'Tis the season without reason and all that.

British newspaper The Guardian supplies these winning jokes from this year's Edinburgh Festival Fringe, the world's largest arts festival.

BARRY COURTER: Lisa, there are two artists coming to town this week who should appeal to you. They are both very good and they lean toward a country sound, but neither of those is the reason I'm guessing you might find them interesting. Can you guess?

By Lisa Denton and Barry Courter LISA DENTON: You know, Barry, if we decided to limit our concert attendance to Grammy Award-winning musicians this week, we would still have to get to three shows.

LISA DENTON: Barry, I have looked into the future, and it has given me whiplash. Actually, it's the more specific condition I call holiday whiplash.

Good morning, readers, Welcome to ChattanoogaNow, your weekly guide to arts and entertainment events in the Tennessee Valley.

LISA DENTON: Barry, I know you're not a big, big fan of country music, but Vince Gill's next show may be one you should see. He will be here Friday for A Song for the Children, a fundraiser for the Children's Advocacy Center of Hamilton County.

BARRY COURTER: Lisa, what do Gilda Radner, Harold Ramis, Brian Doyle-Murray, Tina Fey, Joe Flaherty, Eugene Levy, Martin Short and Elaine May have in common? And while "people who have never been in my kitchen" is technically correct, it is not the answer I'm looking for.

BARRY COURTER: Lisa, I know you're tech-savvy — I saw you use your iPhone as a makeup mirror the other day — and I know you like T Bone Burnett, so I'm betting you are as excited as I am about the big concert coming up Saturday as part of RiverRocks. Burnett will be performing live via Internet hookup with one of my favorite new acts, The Secret Sisters. He produced their debut CD.

BARRY COURTER: Lisa, we have a lot of very generous people who do a lot of very nice things in our community, and Fletcher Bright is right there at the top of the list. He has for years given his time, money and support to numerous events and organizations without asking for anything in return, at least that I know of.

LISA DENTON: Barry, I don't know if we can get tickets this late in the game, but Sean Astin's visit for First Things First's 15th anniversary celebration Tuesday makes me at least want to watch "The Lord of the Rings" trilogy again.

BARRY COURTER: Lisa, get lost. I mean at one of the many corn mazes in the area, of course. They have popped up everywhere. Some have petting zoos, playgrounds, pumpkin patches, wagon rides, food and inflatables. You can literally lose yourself in all the fun.

You can't keep a secret on a farm. The potatoes have eyes, and the corn is all ears.

BARRY COURTER: Lisa, I'm pretty excited. The Secret Sisters are coming back to town. They were here for Riverbend last year, and they will open this year's Patten Performances series Tuesday at the UTC Fine Arts Center.

BARRY COURTER: Lisa, I don't know about you, but I'm only about halfway through the list of festivals Susan Pierce compiled in Sunday's paper. Once again, the fall season in our area is eat up with festivals.

LISA DENTON: Barry, this is the last Monday in August, so that means we're heading into Labor Day weekend. I have to say, I'd welcome a rest from my labor.

When I say that Steve's Landing is one of my favorite places to eat, I need to throw in a disclaimer. It's one of my favorite places to eat in the spring and fall.

LISA DENTON: Barry, don't tell my brother, 'cause I'd hate to give him credit for it, but I'm secretly a fan of Ted Nugent's music, and Richie is the reason.

BARRY COURTER: Lisa, have you ever seen or heard of a new concept and your first thought was "That's the dumbest idea ever?" Wait, before you answer, I just realized someone proposed this column idea at some point, so I'm sure you have. Anyway, I was going to add that after your original reaction, you thought, "Well, that could work."

LISA DENTON: Barry, I won't pretend that I'm a big follower of the NFL. My last real thought about football was wondering how much money Eli Manning and Deion Sanders must be getting paid to wear fairy wings in those DirecTV commercials. Seriously, that's got to be a wad of cash.

Vaudeville Cafe will crown a Mouth of the South next week.

LISA DENTON: Barry, I know you think this puts me on the fast track to Crazy Town, but come Thursday I'll have the car gassed up and ready to go to the World's Longest Yard Sale along Highway 127.

BARRY COURTER: Lisa, I have to confess that while I've seen parts of a Blue Man Group performance, I really have little idea what they do. I think it's part circus, part Vaudeville, part Cirque, part live music and who knows what else. And, they are blue. I'm mean, Veruca Salt blue, only bluer.

LISA DENTON: Barry, if it wouldn't hurt your standing in the He Man Club, you might want to get your ticket for She: An Expo for Women, coming up this weekend at the Chattanooga Convention Center.

LISA DENTON: Barry, I won't even pretend that it's the biggest or most important event coming up this week, but if I'm being honest (and how often does that happen?), I have to say I'm most excited about Cow Appreciation Day coming up at all area Chick-f

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