Laugh Lines

DAVE LETTERMAN'S TOP 10

Top 10 biblical television shows:10. "Leviticus & Shirley"9. "Gomorroh Five-O"8. "Curb Your Polytheism"7. "Abstinence and the City"6. "Monk"5. "I Dream of Jesus"4. "Parks & Resurrection"3. "Two and a Half Wise Men"2. "The Big Bang Theory Is a Lie"1. "(Stuff) My God Says"Source: "Late Show With David Letterman"

Go and sing no more

These announcements, according to legend, actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services.

• The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

• The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."

• Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

• Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love.