OK, because we are going to be outraged about anything — everything? — now the U.S. Women's soccer team is under fire for being too good, celebrating too much and fulfilling dreams.
The USWNT dropped a record-setting 13-0 win on Thailand. In soccer that's close to the Georgia Tech 222, Cumberland 0-level of a beatdown.
Now there are former players from competing countries, media types and the wave of pearl-clutching, hand-wringing, "Think of the children" social media morality mob that is waiting to pounce in a finger-pointing, 140-character blitzkrieg of faux outrage.
Canadian analysts Clare Rusted and Kaylyn Kyle (great name by the way) used terms like "disgusted" and "embarrassed" and yes, actually dropped, "There are kids watching this."
Good. I hope my daughter was watching it, because as USWNT star Alex Morgan said, this was a lifetime dream fulfilled for a lot of the U.S. players, especially those playing in their first World Cup.
Morgan scored five goals — a record that is worth enjoying a celebrating without question — but the lasting image of her Tuesday was comforting a Thailand player, who Morgan sought out to offer encouragement.
Plus, I have always been of the mind that the worst way to treat an opponent is to treat them like a child rather than a competitor.
Which would be worse, the USWNT playing four corners keep-away for the last 30 minutes — the soccer version of when your big brother would extend his arm with his hand on your forehead and you had no chance to touch him no matter how much you wiggled or swung your fists.
If this was the U.S. men's basketball team destroying China 119-62 — like they did in the 2016 Olympics opener — are we suggesting that they should dribble out the entire fourth quarter? If this was Alabama against, well almost anyone not name Clemson these days, should they take a knee on every offensive snap when they are leading by 42 early in the third?
So are we just suggesting this because we are speaking about women's athletics, because if that's the case, then get your popcorn because the faux outrage of sportsmanship will be met with the faux outrage of sexism, so buckle up.
And the sportsmanship hand-wringers want no part of any of the "ism" crowd. They are next level outrageous.
There's also this general fact: Some of the folks bemoaning the goals obviously do not know that goal-differential is a top-level tie-breaker in a game that has more ties than any other.
As for the debate about celebration, again, Morgan was spot on.
She said she never dreamed of being in a position to score five goals in a World Cup match, and it was a joyous experience. Plus, she said would never deny her teammates the chance to celebrate their dream moment on the biggest stage of their chosen sport.
But whatever. You faux ticked off folks be you. Chase your Twitter windmills and spend that energy however you see fit.
I'll be over saying "You go girls. Bring that puppy home. U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!"
(And while we are here, are we taking sportsmanship tips from the Canadians, who apparently are A-OK with cheering an all-time great tearing his Achilles' tendon? Perfect.)
Expensive Game 7
According to this story, tickets for the decisive Game 7 tonight between Bruins and Blues are going at record-high prices.
We get that, and we imagine there are more than a few Blues fans who made that trip to Boston for a chance to see the team's first Stanley Cup win.
The numbers are nowhere close to Super Bowl levels, but still a hefty chunk of change as of this morning.
The cheapest tickets on Vivid Seats was $1,441, while the lowest price on StubHub was $1,644. Those numbers were posted Monday, as of this morning, they have leveled off some. StubHub had three at $1,358.69; Vivid Seats had one at a smidge less than $1,200.
That's the lowest price mind you. The average price on the secondary vendor sites is north of $3,000.
So no, that's not Super Bowl level, but it's closer than you think.
According to Ticket IQ, tonight's Game 7 is the second-highest in Boston sports history, just behind last February's Super Bowl ticket between Patriots and Rams.
We need your U.S. Open contest entries by the end of BID-ness today.
Send your five golfers to me at firstname.lastname@example.org or in the comments below. Best four results count, winner gets lunch on me.
As for me, well, here's my five and why.
Brooks Koepka. Because, duh. Dude has four of the last eight majors with two more top-six finishes.
Keith Mitchell. Because, duh. He's my guy, and has been a great friend of the show. (And yes, Luke List is every bit my guy, too, and I've known him since he was in high school. But the Mrs. 5-at-10 got the first pick of the Baylor School guys and she took Luke. So there's that.)
Rory. Because, duh, no one is playing better in the now in terms of this season. Did you know that Rory has two wins in 13 tournaments and 10 top-10s. Yes, 10.
Tommy Fleetwood. Because, duh, who doesn't want the U.S. Open champ to look like the guy that knocks on your door wondering if you have any odd jobs he can do because he's in between jobs.
Tiger Woods. Because, duh, that's the one we all want to be involved late Sunday evening. Just admit it, even Spy wants Tiger within a shot come 7 p.m. Sunday. (Yes, Spy then wants Tiger to go triple-quad-ace-quad, but spectacular failures from Tiger are just as entertaining as spectacular successes.)
Face it friends, we must embrace the time we have left with El Tigre. (And this story shares that Tiger thinks he has another decade. Sorry Spy.)
Because know this: Tiger may not be the hero you want, but he's the hero golf needs.
This and that
— Speaking of golf, the Mrs. 5-at-10's picks are Spieth, Koepka, List, Rory and Justin Thomas. So there's that.
— The Raiders are going to be on Hard Knocks. Best choice — of the ones available — and not a monster surprise.
— Braves played. Braves rolled. If Brian McCann actually smiles in the dugout after his second homer — like he did Tuesday night — on the international exchange rate, is that the same thing as a Yaisel Puig bat flip? McCann's two jacks were part of the five the Braves hit last night.
— We are a week away from the NBA Draft and it's fair to believe the Pelicans are going to be a central figure in a lot of the moving and shaking. Yes, the Pelicans have the right to take Lord Zion. But moving Anthony Davis also will be a conversation that becomes routine. According to this, the Lakers are an overwhelming favorites to land the Unibrow. The Lakers are minus-500 (bet $500 to win $100), the Knicks are +375, the field is +1000 and he stays in New Orleans is +4000.
— Wow, FanDuel is refunding (in the form of credit to customer's accounts) all bets from last night made on KD props for Game 5 and the series.
— The radio hall of fame nominees announced its finalists for the 2019 class. Jim Rome is on there.
Which way Wednesday starts this way.
Lots of desire for a seat in Game 7 in Boston tonight. Which sporting event would you spare no expense to see?
Given a choice, which golf course would you most want to play — Pebble, Augusta, St.Andrew's?
Which is worse sportsmanship, playing keep away or still scoring goals in a one-sided soccer match?
As for today, June 12, let's review.
Al Capone was indicted on this day on 5,000 counts of prohibition and perjury in 1931.
Man, Toy Story premiered on this day in 2010. I'm not crying. You're crying.
Wow, Raiders of the Lost Ark was released on this day in 1981.
OK, let's go there. Rushmore of 1980s action movies that hold up today.
Go, and remember the U.S. Open contest and the mailbag.