Chattanooga Now Matinee Melee: 'Furry Vengeance' bites

Chattanooga Now Matinee Melee: 'Furry Vengeance' bites

May 5th, 2010 by Casey Phillips and Holly Leber in Chattnow Movies

CASEY PHILLIPS: I'm not one for pulling punches, so here goes. There is almost nothing to recommend about "Furry Vengeance." It's a kids movie that insults the intelligence of its target audience and relies overmuch on gaseous woodland critters to limp along for 92 excruciating minutes.

By the end, I was convinced it would have been more palatable as an animated film, but, even then, it only would have had six minutes of decent material.

Minus the ridiculously unrealistic animals and an even more ridiculous Brendan Fraser parading around like a meth-addled idiot, the movie might have been salvageable. Ken Jeong and Angela Kinsey are funny on their own, but when they're paired with digestively challenged eagles and bears with a grudge against portable toilets, the funny factor disappears faster than Yogi Bear from the scene of a basket snatching.

HOLLY LEBER: Everything he said made me want to revolt against the green movement. It was so smug and condescending, with absolutely no subtlety. There's driving home a point and then there's jackhammering it while your audience begs for mercy.

The sad thing is, the general premise isn't wholly ridiculous. The scheming animals, yes. But a man torn between money and morality is an identifiable, if not terribly original, story. Maybe if the foolishness had been removed, it could have been decent.

REVIEWED THIS WEEK

Movie: "Furry Vengeance"

Starring: Brendan Fraser, Brooke Shields, Matt Prokop, Ken Jeong and Angela Kinsey.

Rating: PG for some rude humor, mild language and brief smoking.

Synopsis: An executive at a "green" development company finds Mother Nature fighting back when he oversees the destruction of a forest to build a massive new subdivision.

But apparently director Roger Kumble and company decided to milk the idiocy for all it's worth. Stuffing recycled jokes down an audience's throat is about as advisable as stuffing Fraser's middle-aged portliness into Brooke Shields' pink "Yum Yum" sweatsuit. It's not funny; it's just really, really sad. Particularly since Brooke Shields is far too old to wear sweat pants with anything, much less "Yum Yum," written across the rear. Someone should've used more sunscreen by the blue lagoon 'cause baby's not so pretty anymore.

CASEY: This movie lends credence to my theory that working with Martin Lawrence is like committing career suicide. Kumble also directed "Cruel Intentions" and "Just Friends," but his last project was the Lawrence vehicle "College Road Trip." Then, he went and made "Furry Vengeance." It's strange. Usually, I'm happy to be proven right.

HOLLY: When I was a kid, my mother told me that if I don't have something nice to say, I shouldn't say anything at all. I don't think she was taking movies like "Furry Vengeance" into consideration.

CASEY: In short, avoid this movie with a vengeance. If your kids beg to see it, club them over the head and take them to "How To Train Your Dragon" instead. They'll thank you when they wake up.