A late-30-something strapped on roller skates and this is what happened

Writer Jennifer Bardoner, left, and friend Amy Parker get ready for a trip down memory lane at one of Hamilton Skate Place's Adult Skate Nights.
Writer Jennifer Bardoner, left, and friend Amy Parker get ready for a trip down memory lane at one of Hamilton Skate Place's Adult Skate Nights.

"Just one more time."

A dozen or so rounds later, the lights came on, signifying that everyone's final time had truly come.

My friend Amy and I had decided to feel young again (or prove that we weren't) by attending one of Hamilton Skate Place's Adult Skate Nights. I'd say we succeeded at a little bit of both, but regardless of which side of the fence we landed on, we had fun while managing to physically land on nothing more than the wall as a "stop" method - just like when I was young.

The term "just like riding a bike" is thrown around a lot, but when it comes to strapping on roller skates as an adult and teetering around a rink, it's pretty accurate. Just like getting back up on a bike at this age, there's a bit more teetering, and in this case, a lot more arm flailing, but it did come back to me. Call it muscle memory, because my head was very aware of the potential consequences.

Give it a go

Hamilton Skate Place’s next Adult Skate Night is Sept. 1, and there are other regular special events. To learn more, visit hamiltonskate.com.

I must not be alone in that. While I thought Adult Skate signified the addition of adult beverages and perhaps swapping out the "Hokey Pokey" with something more mature, I learned that it really just means no kids. "Some of our older patrons felt the kids were going too fast for them," the clerk said as he traded me an entry ticket for $11. Turns out he most likely meant "older" as in me, people in their mid-30s to 40s, and that I couldn't have handled any of the adult beverages I'd counted on, though skating is seriously thirsty work. Twenty or so minutes in, Amy and I ended up propped up next to the concession stand, downing cup after cup of the 25-cent water before heading back out for "just one more time."

Aside from the "older" people gliding around the rink, the place was exactly like what I remembered from all those birthday parties and late-night skates of my youth. A rainbow of lights danced around the darkened room, a glittering disco ball in the middle of it all, and the music blared.

Adult Skate Nights are not all created equally, the clerk had told me. The distinction comes down to the DJ. There are a few in Hamilton Skate Place's rotation, and each comes with his own musical preferences. One leans more toward electronic music and draws a younger crowd. Another prefers well-loved classics. The song selection that evening had me singing along with my 12-year-old self as I tenuously tried to cross one foot over the other in a corner-rounding technique I'd never mastered. Thankfully, there was no "Hokey Pokey."

There was pride for me in picking up essentially where I left off several decades ago, but there was joy in the straightaways. Leaving my inhibitions behind, I skated as fast as I could. It was like barreling down a hill on a bike at full speed, or the (brief) moments of exhilarating weightlessness when you nail an upright snowboard stance. Pure giddiness; nothing but me and momentum. It felt like flying.

photo Writer Jennifer Bardoner, left, and friend Amy Parker get ready for a trip down memory lane at one of Hamilton Skate Place's Adult Skate Nights.

As I otherwise helicoptered my way around the rink, I couldn't help but notice the three dozen or so other skaters lapping me. A balding man who appeared to be in his late 40s seemed to be using the evening as a speed skating exercise and us as obstacles, weaving in and out of the crowd as he blazed by, barely missing me. The majority of the other skaters, a surprisingly equal mix of guys and gals whom I'd categorize as 30-somethings, used it as an opportunity to boldly practice dancing. Perhaps it was their self-confidence or body control, or the natural sway and undulation of roller skating itself, but even the simplest of moves was elevated to something sublimely seductive, like aerials or hoop dancing. A couple that looked to be in their 50s was so in tune with each other, they skated side-by-side in perfect synchrony as they held hands or stuffed them in each other's pockets. It was like watching a choreographed swimming routine, and you could tell just as much practice had gone into it.

As the lights went up, Amy and I were the only ones who approached the window framed by row after row of tan high-top skates in order to reclaim our shoes. Adult skating is apparently an underground social circle, with many of the same people coming week after week. While Adult Skate Nights happen only so often, Tuesdays are a popular night for a similar experience, I learned. After swapping my skates for shoes, I approached a cluster of guys, one of whom I recognized as a friend of a friend. His group routinely meets up at the nearby Chili's for some liquid limberness, then totes their roller skates to the rink. I can understand why. I'd come just to see if I could do it, but I left with something more: a lightness of spirit often left to childhood.

When I was younger, I envied those who could skate backwards, gracefully snaking this way then that, as they defied physics and instinct. I now have a new goal: to be able to dance while skating.

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