Illustration by Matt McClaneBeater/ noun
1. A person with little to no understanding of the social and stylistic norms of the community they are attempting to engage with. Typically this person is trying to perform a feat before they are ready, therefore making rookie mistakes and causing unsafe and embarrassing conditions.
Synonyms: jerry; kook; gumbie; gaper
We've all seen beaters at the crag. In fact, most of us once were the beaters at the crag.
Earlier this year, I broke my leg bouldering. Earlier that day, I saw a gaggle of teens slathering on sunscreen before climbing, leaving the route extra greasy.
Both of these are examples of beatering.
To keep everyone safe from injury and ridicule, we have compiled a list of actions that will help you avoid beatering at the crag.
> Turn off the speaker, bro
We all love a good tune to move and groove to, but what's the point of going into nature to climb if you turn up the speaker loud enough for everyone to hear? Look, I love Primus as much as the next gal, but respect the ears around you. Let's enjoy the sound of birds chirping and folks down the way cheering on their friends.
> Say it, don't spray it
Do you know the beta for the climb? Are you stoked to have discovered just where to jam your knee or that little crimp just over the ledge on the left? Awesome! But please keep it to yourself unless someone is asking. Putting together the puzzle of a route is half the fun.
> Wipe your paws
In the Southeast, getting to climb between rainy days is a treat, but walking through wet leaves and mud between climbs isn't. I take my climbing shoes off between climbs because they hurt, but lots of folks like to keep their shoes on between attempts. They walk around, shake out, chalk up and eventually get back at it. That's all fine and dandy, but don't get the muck on the rock for the rest of us. Leaving your snail slime all the way up is a quick route to beater status.
(Note to new climbers: Don't wear socks under your climbing shoes, it's weird.)
> And speaking of paws
The first time I brought my dog to a multi pitch he barked and cried the entire time I was leading. He didn't stop until I was back on the ground - and that was the last time I took him climbing. The worst, though, is when the dog finds a bed for himself on the crash pad. Not only does it get the pad dirty, but if he finds his way there while the humans are mid climb - he's not going to make the best landing zone. As much as we love seeing pups at the crag, these are both things that turn man's best friend into man's beater-est friend.
> Let the rock be
When you climb, do not change the rock. Don't chip it or hammer it. If you can't climb it, train harder and get stronger. But under no circumstance should you make the rock more workable just for you. This is one of the biggest beater moves of all. We are here to share Mother Nature and all her glory, to have fun on the rock and to play with it, so think of the land and think of others when you climb.
And don't break your leg while bouldering.
From one beater to another, stay safe, have fun and don't be selfish.