Confessions of a hungry carnivore

Most New Year's diets fizzle by Valentine's Day. There is a reason why "cheat" contains the word "eat."

I need to lose 15 pounds as much as the next guy, yet I still daydream about food.

The other day, while sitting in the newspaper lunchroom, several of us tried to list our favorite Chattanooga "man foods." The rules: The dishes have to be packed with flavor, served in satisfying portions and available locally.

For what it's worth, below is my favorite "man foods" list. (Ladies are welcome to partake from the man-foods menu, but please no whining: "I ate too much.")

1. Catfish at Southern Star (1300 Broad St.). A Friday lunch tradition among downtown workers, the catfish fillets at Southern Star are deep-fried heaven. My favorite Friday sides are hand-cut fries (just like Mom's) and a mountain of cheese grits.

2. Onion rings at Ankar's Hoagies (5966 Brainerd Road). Sometimes I trick my family into weekend trips to Brainerd Road just so we land at Ankar's Hoagies for lunch. Ankar's signature onion rings are as big as Hula Hoops. Crisp, salty and stacked to gravity-defying heights, Ankar's onion rings are a Chattanooga treasure. Pair them with the Steak in a Sack for a manly, one-two lunch punch.

3. Salmon patties at Wally's Restaurant (1600 McCallie Ave.). This is a nostalgic pick for me. When I was a boy, fried salmon and tuna patties were dinnertime staples. Wally's salmon patties are fried golden brown in a traditional cornmeal batter. Complete your "meat and three" with pinto beans, turnip greens and macaroni and cheese.

4. Petunia's Smoked Butt Sandwich at the Silver Jalapeno (1110 Market St., inside Warehouse Row). New to "the Row," the Silver Jalapeno offers an amazing pulled-pork sandwich made from massive chucks of tender meat "lovingly smoked for 24 hours." Served on a white-bread bun with slaw and sauce, the sandwich is stacked almost 5 inches tall. It's best when disassembled and eaten with a fork. (Note: The Silver Jalapeno is on the lower floor and only open 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. weekdays.)

5. Twin Filets at Niko's Southside Grill (1400 Cowart St). The fillet mignon at Niko's, still one of the jewels of Southside dining, is the entree I would select for my last meal. Every man needs a dependable, fine-dining steak. We don't like to experiment. I've had this entree many times and never walked away unsatisfied.

6. Bang Bang Shrimp at Bonefish Grill (2115 Gunbarrel Road). OK, this is sort of a unisex dish. Still, the explosion of flavors -- fried shrimp tossed in a spicy cream sauce -- is legendary. I know a dozen friends who swear by the Bang Bang Shrimp at Bonefish. To make it more manly, be a Neanderthal: Put the dish in your lap and refuse to share.

7. Pepper Jack Chicken Nachos at Big River Grille & Brewing Works. A mountain of tortilla chips is smothered in a heap of grilled chicken, black beans, tomatoes, jalapeno peppers and red onions. Melted pepper jack and cheddar cheeses glue it together. I love Big River Nachos because you can eat and eat and barely make a dent in the pile. Put out the jalapeno fire with Imperial 375 Pale Ale.

8. Pizza at Lupi's (406 Broad St.). To me, this local chain has the best pies in town. Pizza is a matter of individual taste, but Lupi's consistently makes my mouth happy. Fresh ingredients, magical sauce and a tasty crust blend together wonderfully. Manly suggestion: Combine a visit to Lupi's on Broad Street with a boys night out at a Lookouts baseball game this summer.

9. Rolls at Provino's Italian Restaurant (5084 South Terrace). Every man has cravings. My deepest, most primal food craving is for a basket of butter-slathered rolls from Provino's. You can literally make a man-meal of rolls and salad at this Chattanooga landmark.

10. Banana pudding at Sticky Fingers (420 Broad St.). If you ever get to enjoy Sticky Finger's catering, don't skip the banana pudding. I don't have a giant sweet tooth, but Sticky Fingers pudding is the perfect capper to a meal of savory barbecue.

What's your favorite Chattanooga man food? E-mail me at mkennedy@timesfreepress.com, and I'll add your favorites to the online version of this column.

Contact Mark Kennedy at mkennedy@timesfreepress.com or 423-757-6645. Follow him on Twitter @TFPCOLUMNIST or on Facebook at Mark Kennedy, Chattanooga columnist.

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