Get Off the Couch: Merry, merry and face melting

Get Off the Couch: Merry, merry and face melting

December 3rd, 2012 by Barry Courter and Lisa Denton in Life Entertainment

LISA DENTON: Barry, I found out last week that someone has procured me a ticket to see John Michael Montgomery Friday night at Memorial Auditorium. This is one of two concerts presented each year by the Chattanooga Firefighters Association, so it's for a good cause.

I don't know where the seats are, but I believe Montgomery's dimples are deep enough to see from just about any angle in the auditorium. If I can get someone to spring for up-and-coming country artist Chris Young at the Tivoli Theatre on Saturday and Hall & Oates at Memorial Auditorium on Dec. 10, I'd be set for three big concerts this month.

BARRY COURTER: Which is better: Montgomery's dimples or John Oates' former porn 'stache?

Those are three good shows you mentioned, but I'm more interested in the back-to-back brain-twisting juxtaposition that Track 29 will be hosting on Wednesday and Thursday. The first night with Lauren Alaina and Confederate Railroad is a Christmas for Kids fundraiser and is guaranteed to put a smile on your face. The next night, that smile, and the rest of your face, could be melted off when the Metalocalypse tour brings in Dethklok, Machine Head, All That Remains and Black Dahlia Murder.

I'm not sure if attendees will have to sign "pain waivers" like they do on the "Metalocalypse" cartoon, but I'd do it to see this show.

LISA: Maybe we should adopt that "apocalypse by metal" mindset they have on the TV series and change our names to Lisa Explosion and Barry Murderface. Or vice versa. Hard to know which way to go on that. But, yes, the concert should be mind-bending.

Maybe they should use Dethklok music in the Amazing Christmas Light Show, which starts Friday at Joe Stock Park in LaFayette, Ga. That's where they synchronize a light show to Christmas tunes.

Now that would be weird. I don't think there's a way to put a Rankin/Bass spin on "Briefcase Full of Guts" or "Go Forth and Die."

BARRY: I like that idea of a death-metal synchronized light show, but it would probably cause more than a few seizures. And I knew a kid in third grade we called Timmy Explosion, but it had nothing to do with music.

On a much lighter note, comedian Craig Shoemaker is doing a special one-off show at The Comedy Catch on Thursday night. His Lovemaster stuff is hilarious. Not for the kiddies, mind you, but very funny.

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