Date Night may need some serious resuscitation. A survey of Redbook magazine readers found that 45 percent of couples rarely have Date Night, while only 18 percent said they go out once a month.
This is sad news, since marriage experts consistently say one of the best ways to keep your marriage strong, healthy and adventuresome is to regularly spend time together doing something you both enjoy. When couples are intentional about spending time together, they are often shocked at the positive impact on their marriage and their children.
An astonishing 80 percent of marriages crumble not because of something huge but because they say they have become disconnected.
According to The Date Night Opportunity, a report released by the University of Virginia's National Marriage Project, couples who devote time specifically to one another at least once a week are markedly more likely to enjoy high-quality relationships and lower divorce rates, compared to couples who do not.
How can a simple date actually help a marriage? According to the researchers, Date Night provides communication opportunities that may help couples deepen their understanding of one another and the relationship. Couples who engage in novel activities that are fun, active or otherwise arousing - from hiking to dancing to travel to card games - enjoy higher levels of relationship quality and in turn counteract a tendency to take each other for granted. Regular Date Nights may especially benefit couples who do more than the old standby: dinner and a movie.
Date nights may also:
* Strengthen or rekindle that romantic spark, which is helpful in sustaining the fires of love over the long haul.
* Strengthen a couple's sense of commitment to one another. Partners who put one another first, who steer clear of other romantic opportunities and who cultivate a strong sense of "we-ness" or togetherness are markedly happier than are less-committed couples.
* Relieve stress. They allow a couple to enjoy time with one another apart from the pressing concerns of their ordinary life.
* Give couples an opportunity to extend emotional support to one another in trying times.
The report found that couples who spend time together at least once a week:
* Are about three times more likely to report that they are "very happy" in their marriages;
* Report higher levels of communication and commitment;
* State that they are highly satisfied with their sexual relationship compared to couples who spend less couple time together.If tyranny of the urgent has kept you from placing Date Night on your calendar, consider setting aside an hour or two each week for the next six weeks for a date night. Attending Chattanooga's Ultimate Date Night on Nov. 3 with Dr. Gary Chapman, author of "The Five Love Languages," could be one you don't even have to plan.
Agree not to talk about the kids, your job or the in-laws. You don't have to spend a ton of money. Just play together. At the end of the six weeks, discuss any changes you have experienced in your relationship. You might be surprised at the difference "couple time" makes in your relationship.
For more information about Chattanooga's Ultimate Date Night, visit firstthings.org.
Julie Baumgardner is president and CEO of First Things First. Contact her at julieb@firstthings.org.