Do you remember when you could find well-known adults you'd be glad to introduce as a good role model to your teen? It seems like there are very few left.
So many pop stars, politicians, business leaders and sports figures are all failing the test of being effective role models. Who would have thought that Jared Fogle, former spokesman for Subway, would be hauled off and charged with child exploitation?
Individuals in the public eye with influence over our youth commonly seem to be doing the wrong thing in the wrong place for the wrong reason. Who does your teen idolize? Who does he or she look up to? Respect? Imitate?
The list of fallen popular figures is long. People who our teens find compelling are increasingly unreliable role models. So many have turned out to be poor sources of inspiration or behavior by focusing only on themselves, possessing questionable morality and maintaining a sense of entitlement. All of these can derail your teen's sense of self and ability to contribute in a positive way.
How do we swing our teen's fascination with fluff to influences can trust? Where are those models?
We can encourage our kids to expand their interests. We can talk about why actors, singers and other entertainers appeal to us. We can have a discussion about why they are so popular while putting into context what makes a good role model.
There is a difference between being popular and being a good person. We can teach that there are consequences to bad behavior, and some are permanent.
And, perhaps most of all, we can teach our children by example to have high standards, think for themselves and make discerning judgments, regardless of the persuasion of an individual's personality.
We need to emphasize to our children the importance of finding and adopting positive role models, cultivating self-confidence and mirroring examples of the qualities that make for a successful life. Good role models can emerge from every walk of life, every background. They are successful individuals who have firm character and strong values.
A couple of years ago, teens responded to a question from The New York Times about role models in their lives. Answers included sports figures, the head of a zoological park, an 11th-grade English teacher and family members. The one thing that everyone mentioned was the positive impact made by someone who overcame obstacles, demonstrated strength in the face of challenges, and inspired others to be better people.
Tom Tozer and Bill Black are authors of "Dads2Dads: Tools for Raising Teenagers." Like them on Facebook and follow them on Twitter at Dads2Dadsllc.com. They are available for workshops. Contact them at tomandbill@Dads2Dadsllc.com.