"If the only prayer you ever said was 'thank you,' that would be enough," attributed to Meister Eckhart
Several years ago, I heard someone describe gratitude as "getting the junk out" - except he didn't say "junk." His point was that gratitude is about more than just being pleased with fortunate circumstances.
While it can certainly improve one's outlook to appreciate the pleasant things in life, we all know from experience that life is filled with challenges, loss and often great pain. The question, then, is whether gratitude can be practiced in these circumstances, too.
A practice that I have used off and on over the past several years, and which I believe has slowly begun to change my habitual response to life's ups and downs, is to write a daily gratitude list using this simple formula: "Thank you, God, for [difficult circumstance], which is teaching me "
I can use this practice on anything: a difficult relationship, an injury or physical limitation, a traffic jam, even an intractable personal shortcoming. The basic idea is that every challenge presents an opportunity, every hardship offers a chance to grow - in wisdom, in humility, in love.
When I practice this form of gratitude regularly, I begin to see every circumstance, every relationship, and eventually every moment, as a gift. Of course, I will enjoy and appreciate the pleasant things that life graciously offers, but with this practice I can start to appreciate the unpleasant as well.
Say there's a difficult person at work or in the family (this should not be too hard to imagine); they may be rude, careless or self-centered (in my perception). Rather than avoiding them or feeling oppressed by their behavior, I can use this gratitude practice to discover what that relationship can teach me. Maybe I need to practice being patient and forgiving; after all, I can be rude, careless and self-centered, too. Or I may need to practice being assertive and letting that person know how their behavior affects me.
In either case, they are presenting me with an opportunity to grow into the kind of person I want to be, and that is something to be grateful for.
It's important to note that what I'm describing is a practice, something to be done regularly - daily, if possible. It's OK if it feels dull or uninspired at times. When cultivating any new habit, inspiration - which comes and goes - must eventually give way to commitment.
More importantly, it's not necessarily during the few minutes it takes to write the list that I experience the benefits of the practice. The list is a tool to develop a grateful attitude, and the real benefits accrue as gratitude slowly becomes my spontaneous reaction to life.
L.B. Blackwell is the coordinator for the Chattanooga Passage Meditation Satsang. He lives in Brainerd with his wife and daughter.