Bo WagnerIt is either coincidence or irony, I suppose, that I should mention a friend in my column one week then be compelled by (hilarious) circumstance to do so again the next week.
My friend Ben from my church, the gentleman who was with me last week when I set a new personal best on the bench press, just a few days later became the latest victim of one of my many pastoral slips of the tongue.
Pastors say words, publicly. Lots of them. That fact, combined with my natural tendency to speak rather quickly, lends itself to the occasional verbal faux pas. Some of my gems through the years include trying to say "It's all my fault" but instead saying "It's all my fart." I did that not once, but twice; completely broke up the service both times.
I also tried to say "The devil wants to drag you to hell, but God wants to save you," but getting the devil and God put in each other's spot.
This past Sunday, I stared out at a pleasingly large crowd and smiled as I began to preach. Since it was just a couple of days before Valentine's Day, I had a message on marriage prepared, one titled "With This Ring."
One of my points was designed to drive home the fact that, when a man and woman marry, their identity forever changes. Now they are so-and-so, the wife/husband of so-and-so. I pointed out different couples by name and told them so.
It was after the entire assembled crowd burst into hysterical laughter that my mistake dawned on me: "You are Ben, the wife of "
My church members never ever let me slide by with something like that. Could they simply smile and think, "I know what he meant," then tell me of my mistake later? Oh no, not my people. They absolutely howled with laughter. Some were in tears.
Keep in mind, it would not have been half as funny if I had not said it of the most monstrous man in my church. He has trouble finding a good gym to work out in because most of them do not have weights heavy enough for him. This is the man to whom I entrust my life when I am trying to lift ever-heavier amounts on the bench press. And I just called him a wife. Not just to our crowd; we broadcast all our services live on Facebook as well.
Sometimes the words of an apology are hard to come by. Not this time. Groveling for my life after service came pretty easily, actually. Thankfully, my friend is a very forgiving guy with a great sense of humor.
The more we speak, the greater statistical chance we have to get something wrong. A wise man named Solomon once wrote of this fact. He said in Proverbs 10:19, "In the multitude of words there wanteth not sin: but he that refraineth his lips is wise."
A pastor must take to the pulpit each week and speak. But, as a general rule of life, listening should take up more of our time than speaking does, no matter who we are. No president, parent, spouse, friend, reporter - no anyone - should think first of speaking and relegate listening to second-class status.
The old maxim is still true: God gave us two ears and only one mouth to remind us that listening is twice as important as speaking.
And let me close by saying that I am always honored to listen to you. Feel free to email me at any time with prayer requests, questions or even gleefully sarcastic humor over my latest Wagnerism.
Bo Wagner is pastor of the Cornerstone Baptist Church of Mooresboro, N.C., and the author of several books available at www.wordofhismouth.com. Contact him at 2knowhim@cbc-web.org.