Yonder is pretty vague, but we understand that over yonder is east or west, up yonder is north and down yonder is south. And if you're far enough up yonder, you're in heaven because that's where the roll is called.
Comedian Jeff Foxworthy famously observed that not even Southerners want their brain surgeon to have a Southern accent.
"In a lot of parts of the country, people hear me talk, they automatically want to deduct 100 IQ points," he begins. "'Cause apparently the Southern accent's not the world's most intelligent-sounding accent. ...
If you go
› What: “Fixin To Gonna Not Be: A Lighthearted Look at the History of Southern Colloquial Language” talk by Dr. Jerry Drye.› When: 6-7:30 p.m. Tuesday, April 10.› Where: Room 102 of Sequoya Hall, Dalton State College, 650 College Drive, Dalton, Ga.› Admission: Free.› Phone: 706-272-4452.
"To be honest, none of us would want to hear our brain surgeon say, (voice going twangier) 'Awright now, whut we gon' do is saw the top of yer head off, root around in 'air with a stick and see if we cain't find that dadburn clot.'"
Foxworthy has laughed all the way to the bank riffing on Southern culture, and there's still plenty of material to be mined, says Jerry Drye, associate professor of communication at Dalton State College.
Tuesday evening, he'll lead a program on "Fixin' To Gonna Not Be: A Lighthearted Look at the History of Southern Colloquial Language" on the Dalton campus. He will examine some of the sayings that define the unique culture, traditions and charms of the South, covering such staples as fixin', y'all and yonder.
"In the South, we have a wonderful kind of informal language that people have adopted that's different from other regions," he explains. "Every region has its own nuances. ... We'll look at some words that are not really words ... and common expressions that people use in the South that they really don't use anywhere else."
Like "yonder." Drye contends that only Southerners understand how nuanced the word can be for giving directions.
"'Yonder' is pretty vague, but we understand that 'over yonder' is east or west, 'up yonder' is north and 'down yonder' is south," he says. "And if you're far enough 'up yonder,' you're in heaven because that's where the roll is called."
Such colorful directions may be a Southern specialty. Drye recalls a man explaining that to get to where he was going he would need to "come under yourself" exiting an overpass.
"I had never heard that before, and I speak fluent Southern," he says, laughing at the laws of physics the expression defies.
Drye has a lengthy resume as a broadcaster, motivational humorist, stand-up comic and educator. He leads these community programs periodically as extracurricular edu-tainment offerings, a chance to amuse and educate at the same time, much like he strives to do in the classroom.
"What sets Jerry's humor apart from most is that Jerry has the ability to make you laugh and learn in the same sentence," says a Dalton State colleague, Dr. J. Clint Kinkead, associate professor of communication.
Drye says that where Southerners often get tripped up is not realizing that colloquialisms - that is, words or expressions common to a particular region - can hinder their ability to communicate more widely.
If the primary goals of communication are to inform, persuade, inspire and entertain, none of that can happen "if nobody has a clue what you're saying," Drye says.
"Sometimes when people from different regions get together and start talking to each other, when they throw in their regional jargon, it sometimes can create confusion."
The website www.lifehack.org offers several examples.
In the North, fixing means repairing, such as when your car breaks down. In the South, it also means you're getting prepared to do something.
In the North, a buggy is a horse-drawn cart driven by the Amish. In the South, it's also a shopping cart.
In the North, greens are a salad. In the South, greens are cooked collards.
In the North, butter is a condiment you put on bread. In the South, it's the basis of all cooking.
In the North, "bless your heart" is a way of showing sincerity and appreciation. In the South, it's the polite way of telling you you're an idiot.
Accents and colloquialisms can vary enough by state or region that any outsider, even a fellow Southerner, might have difficulty catching on to the particular syntax, grammar and phonetics of what is being said. Deviations from standard verb tenses are common too, such as growed for grew or knowed for knew.
Of course breaking the conventional rules makes for more colorful parlance.
Case in point: a 1992 "Ask Mr. Language Person" column by Dave Barry that included a comment a reader said she overheard in Nashville. In it, a man is expressing concern to a woman who had been unable to get a ride to a church function, Barry writes.
"He said: Estelle, if I'd a knowed you'd a want to went, I'd a seed you'd a got to get to go."
To a Southern ear, that's poetry.
Drye says there's no shame in speaking Southern, as long as you can speak English if the situation warrants.
"It's not wrong necessarily to sound like where you're from," he says, "as long as you're understood."
And if you can't do that, well, bless your heart.
Contact Lisa Denton at ldenton@timesfreepress.com or 423-757-6281.