LISA DENTON: Barry, I don't always grab a glass when there's an open bottle of wine at the house because, you know, why dirty a glass? But the other day, I saw a wine tumbler that I'm putting on my Christmas list. It reads: "I'm not slurring my words. I'm talking in cursive."
I tell you that to remind you: 1. It's on my Christmas list, and 2. the Santa Pub Crawl is coming up Saturday.
BARRY COURTER: I had already picked out two options for you: One says, "Wine like a princess," and the other says, "Wine is to women as duct tape is to men. It fixes everything."
LISA: Also excellent choices. I'll act surprised.
BARRY: I told you about my friend Carol and her experience at one of those drink-wine-while-you-paint places. The instructor told her, "You do wine well."
The Santa Pub Crawl is so cool, and I am really proud of its founder, Kirby Yost. It's gotten so big, she's handed over the reins to Barrett Taylor, who also produces Road to Nightfall. It benefits the Salvation Army. Attendees bring a new toy to donate as they visit several local drinking establishment, where they enjoy a variety of specials.
LISA: And you get to wear your ugly Christmas sweaters. That's always fun.
BARRY: Wait, you think they are ugly? Bulldogs in Santa hats playing cards next to a roaring yule with stockings hung on the mantel, ugly? Yeah, OK. Maybe. Bulldogs don't wear hats.
LISA: Other than that, though, totally acceptable.
There are more-dignified ways to celebrate the season coming up as well. Choral Arts of Chattanooga will present "A Ceremony of Carols" at Second Presbyterian on Thursday, and the Roueche Chorale and Orchestra will present their 20th annual Candlelight Service of Lessons and Carols on Thursday and Friday at Ridgedale Baptist Church. Then the Chattanooga Symphony & Opera will be "Home for the Holidays" Saturday and Sunday at the Tivoli.
BARRY: All great events. Don't forget also that this is the last weekend for the Chattanooga Holiday Market at the Chattanooga Convention Center.
And I can't believe you've gone this far without mentioning that the sandhill cranes return and that there is a kayak tour at Hiwassee Wildlife Refuge on Saturday. Bit of an inside joke here, folks, but Lisa has some sort of unnatural affinity for these birds.
LISA: Like you and cuckoos.
BARRY: Fair enough.
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Contact Lisa Denton at email@example.com or 423-757-6281. Contact Barry Courter at firstname.lastname@example.org or 423-757-6354.