Furious would not even begin to do justice to Susan's mood at the moment. As usual it was Rob, her co-worker, who was the source of her rage. Religious fanatic that he was, she normally tried to avoid him like the plague, but today, in light of the news of Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy's retirement, she was actually in a bit of a mood for a fight, and so she lit into him at lunch.
That did not go well at all. Her lunch was now finished and sitting undigested on her upset stomach. Her mind replayed the conversation a thousand times as she tried to get back into a working groove, but she could not seem to get her mind back on work matters.
"So," she had said accusingly, "I suppose you are all excited about Kennedy's retirement and the prospect of Roe v. Wade being overturned. Another MAN on the court to tell women what they can and can't do with their own bodies, right?"
She and Rob had had this conversation before. He never could seem to grasp that, unless one has been through it, one has no right to utter an opinion on it. No man has ever been pregnant or had an abortion, so they needed to keep their mouths shut and "their opinions out of our wombs," she had shouted.
Rob handled it with that level tone of voice that always drove her crazy; he always seemed to know just what to say and how to say it to get under her skin: "So, since you have never been aborted, your position is that you have no right to an opinion on the matter, correct?"
That was an hour ago. She was still fuming, mostly over not knowing what to say to that.
Later that night Susan drifted off into a fitful sleep, but only after taking some sleep aid to calm her nerves. She slept but not well
"OK, Susan," the doctor said, "It is time for your abortion."
She was confused, and she knew the doctor must be as well. She was not pregnant, so she should not be having an abortion. The doctor seemed to know just what she was thinking.
"No, no, no," he laughed. "This abortion is not for your baby; it is for you. Thanks to the wonders of modern science, we now have the ability to abort full-grown adults. We have grown a huge womb right here in our lab. We will insert you into it, give you time to get comfortable, and then we will abort you."
Her heart began to race, and she could feel fear rising up in her throat.
"Wait a minute, won't that hurt?"
The doctor laughed again, a wicked, slobbering laugh, and said, "Well, I guess that depends on how you feel when you are literally ripped limb from limb. This isn't a joy ride, you know; you are about to be aborted."
Somehow, in her dream, she was instantly in the womb. She felt safe and secure, warm and loved; she had hopes and dreams and then the safety of that place was invaded, and she could feel herself being torn apart. She screamed, but her scream was silent. Her heart beat once twice and stopped as her world went totally black.
And then she screamed loudly enough to wake the neighborhood as she sat straight up in bed, soaked in sweat and shaking uncontrollably.
And then she began to cry. Long, heaving sobs, when she realized that for millions of babies every year, her nightmare was a reality. Oh, God, what had this generation done! What had she so often advocated for!
She flipped on her bedside lamp, grabbed the Bible that had been sitting in her top drawer unopened for years and flipped it open at random. She did not know what she was looking for but had a hunch she would find it anyway.
And there it was. Jeremiah 1:5: "Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations."
"Dear God! He knows every child in the womb and has plans for their lives!" she said in anguish. "What have we done!"
She slipped out of bed and knelt down to pray. She had not spoken to God for years but somehow now she realized that some apologies were in order. "Lord," she said, "so, now that I have had 'my own abortion,' I understand. I apologize, Lord, I was wrong."
And as he had done for so many before her, Susan felt the peace of forgiveness wash over her.
Tomorrow would be a new day, and she would be going a new direction. Boy, was Rob going to be surprised the next time they spoke.
Bo Wagner is pastor of Cornerstone Baptist Church of Mooresboro, North Carolina, a widely traveled evangelist and the author of several books available on Amazon and at www.wordofhismouth.com. Email him at 2knowhim@cbc-web.org.