Dear Abby: Tension mounts for tired mom who gets little help from dad

Dear Abby: Tension mounts for tired mom who gets little help from dad

May 17th, 2018 by Jeanne Phillips in Life Entertainment

Jeanne Phillips.

Jeanne Phillips.

Photo by Contributed Photo /Times Free Press.

DEAR ABBY: I am a working mother of three who may be battling postpartum depression. I feel like I am parenting alone. I get the kids out of the house by myself in the morning before my husband even drags himself out of bed. I drop the kids off. I go to work.

I teach, so my day is spent dealing with other people's kids, and then I pick my own kids up. I have no time to decompress or devote to myself.

When there are school functions, my husband makes me feel guilty that I'm not spending time with the kids. Now he's starting to make me feel guilty because the kids like him less than they do me. How do I get across to him that if he did more and was around them more, they would like him more?

I'm so tired from juggling all these balls. I feel like if something were to happen to me, he'd have no clue what to do. How can I fix this situation? I don't want to resent him, but I'm starting to. — EXHAUSTED, HOT MESS MOM

DEAR MOM: Postpartum depression is more than being tired and overscheduled. It's a medical condition that, left untreated, can have serious consequences.

It might help to discuss what's going on with your physician, who can then help you explain to your husband that if he doesn't step up, he could indeed be left with the sole responsibility of taking care of the children. You're right. You shouldn't be carrying the whole load, and the bonus would be the likelihood that your husband's relationship with the children would improve.

DEAR ABBY: I have two daughters, and we don't always see eye to eye. I think one of them is emotionally abusive because she is so critical about everything having to do with me.

The problem is I have wonderful grandkids who are very young. I would love to see them grow up, but I'm able to see them only perhaps 24 days out of the year. I feel lonely knowing my daughter and her husband are so close yet so far because they're too busy with their lives to let me interact with my grandchildren.

I do have my own things to do and I am active, but I would love a change of scenery after two marriages. I would love to visit new places and make new friends and build a new life for myself. But I wonder if it would be abandoning my grandchildren. I could still visit them two to three times a year from wherever I end up.

I have sacrificed all my life doing the right things by putting others first, and I'm afraid that if I don't travel now or live somewhere else, I may not be well enough later on. What do you think is a good solution for me? — AT A CROSSROADS IN MINNESOTA

DEAR AT A CROSSROADS: I agree you should move. Absence may make the heart grow fonder, but if it doesn't, at least you will have a chance to live your dream. Take it while you're young enough to enjoy it, and video chat with the grandkids.

READER ALERT! If you know a student who would like to enter the $5,000 Dear Abby College Columnist Scholarship contest, see the information on DearAbby.com and learn more. The deadline is fast approaching.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more sociable person, order "How To Be Popular." Send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $7 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling are included in the price.)

Getting Started/Comments Policy

Getting started

  1. 1. If you frequently comment on news websites then you may already have a Disqus account. If so, click the "Login" button at the top right of the comment widget and choose whether you'd rather log in with Facebook, Twitter, Google, or a Disqus account.
  2. 2. If you've forgotten your password, Disqus will email you a link that will allow you to create a new one. Easy!
  3. 3. If you're not a member yet, Disqus will go ahead and register you. It's seamless and takes about 10 seconds.
  4. 4. To register, either go through the login process or just click in the box that says "join the discussion," type your comment, and either choose a social media platform to log you in or create a Disqus account with your email address.
  5. 5. If you use Twitter, Facebook or Google to log in, you will need to stay logged into that platform in order to comment. If you create a Disqus account instead, you'll need to remember your Disqus password. Either way, you can change your display name if you'd rather not show off your real name.
  6. 6. Don't be a huge jerk or do anything illegal, and you'll be fine.

Chattanooga Times Free Press Comments Policy

The Chattanooga Times Free Press web sites include interactive areas in which users can express opinions and share ideas and information. We cannot and do not monitor all of the material submitted to the website. Additionally, we do not control, and are not responsible for, content submitted by users. By using the web sites, you may be exposed to content that you may find offensive, indecent, inaccurate, misleading, or otherwise objectionable. You agree that you must evaluate, and bear all risks associated with, the use of the Times Free Press web sites and any content on the Times Free Press web sites, including, but not limited to, whether you should rely on such content. Notwithstanding the foregoing, you acknowledge that we shall have the right (but not the obligation) to review any content that you have submitted to the Times Free Press, and to reject, delete, disable, or remove any content that we determine, in our sole discretion, (a) does not comply with the terms and conditions of this agreement; (b) might violate any law, infringe upon the rights of third parties, or subject us to liability for any reason; or (c) might adversely affect our public image, reputation or goodwill. Moreover, we reserve the right to reject, delete, disable, or remove any content at any time, for the reasons set forth above, for any other reason, or for no reason. If you believe that any content on any of the Times Free Press websites infringes upon any copyrights that you own, please contact us pursuant to the procedures outlined in the Digital Millennium Copyright Act (Title 17 U.S.C. § 512) at the following address:

Copyright Agent
The Chattanooga Times Free Press
400 East 11th Street
Chattanooga, TN 37403
Phone: 423-757-6315
Email: webeditor@timesfreepress.com


Loading...