Dear Abby: Mom stays close to married son through a tracking app

RO-51
RO-51
photo Jeanne Phillips

DEAR ABBY: I have been married to my husband for five years. My mother-in-law uses an app to track my husband. She pressured him into installing it right before our wedding and has tracked him ever since. Part of me feels that if he wants to let his mother track him, that's his business. But another part of me feels this is an invasion of my privacy as well. Am I wrong to be upset about this? - UNEASY IN KANSAS

DEAR UNEASY: You're not wrong. Your husband should revoke the location permission on the app on his phone or delete it altogether.

What his mother is doing is sick. She is using the tracker as a substitute for the umbilical cord that should have been severed when her son was born. It's a huge invasion of your and your husband's privacy.

He is so used to caving in to his mother that he doesn't have the strength to assert himself. Enlist the help of a licensed marriage and family therapist for suggestions.

DEAR ABBY: My relationship with my boyfriend has been wonderful, except for one issue. He wants us to have a three-way with another woman. Even after I let him know I'm not bisexual, he has suggested it multiple times. Some of my previous partners have suggested this as well, and it has left me feeling as though I will never be enough. I consider it cheating, although they might disagree because I would be involved.

I find this extremely hurtful. I love my boyfriend and don't want to end the relationship, but I'm afraid I must because I don't want to be with someone I can never satisfy (he has mentioned he plans to propose).

What do you think? I wish he had never asked me to do this because it feels horrible. If any male readers have insight, I'd love to hear from them as well. - NOT ENOUGH

DEAR NOT ENOUGH: What your boyfriend has suggested is a common male fantasy. I can only wonder if he would react the same way you have if you suggested a threesome with him and another man.

Because this isn't your cup of tea, you are right to have refused. What concerns me is what you think is going to happen if the two of you should marry, because this issue will not go away once the "I do's" are over. As you requested, I will let male readers weigh in on this one, but personally, I think the time has come to resume your search for Mr. Right.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $7 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling are included in the price.)

Upcoming Events