His church forced him out after a decade of work because of his marriage to another man

As John Thomas McCecil stepped into his home, remnant streaks of tears still lining his face, his husband knew something was wrong.

McCecil met with his boss, a Catholic priest, earlier that day. His husband, Jesse, worried about it, a natural tendency that complemented McCecil's gregarious nature.

The couple met about a year earlier, becoming roommates, then boyfriends, then husbands in the same house. They were just months into marriage with hopes of starting a family when those dreams were put on hold.

By August, McCecil lost his job and a third of the couple's income. In its place was a message the 35-year-old heard repeatedly throughout his life: He was not welcome in the church.

"That's why there are so many gay people that are just disenchanted with the church, because it's so hypocritical," McCecil said. "I'm not saying that I have it 100% figured out. I don't have all the answers. But I just know that that's not how Christ would act. It's just not."

McCecil's story is not unique. Denominations across the country are grappling with their inclusion of the LGBTQ community. Some groups split. Others, like the United Methodist Church, are on the verge of splitting. The Catholic Church is among the remaining denominations whose leadership is not debating the topic.

Staff photo by Wyatt Massey / John Thomas McCecil, right, and his husband Jesse stand in the backyard of their Brainerd home on Oct. 27, 2019.

While the church is following its own rules and not breaking federal law, advocates and researchers said what happened to McCecil amounts to discrimination and is part of a growing trend in the United States without much sign of changing. Since 2010, more than 80 people working at Catholic organizations have been forced to resign or had their jobs in jeopardy because of LGBTQ issues, according to a list compiled by New Ways Ministry, a LGBTQ Catholic advocacy organization. The LGBTQ community isn't included in the civil rights act that protects against gender discrimination, though a case currently before the U.S. Supreme Court could change that.

The church's response to growing support for same-sex marriage in the United States is the "battle of our age," said Massimo Faggioli, Villanova University professor of theology. The church is facing an issue unlike anything in its history.

Falling in love with music and him

McCecil always loved singing in the church. Any time the tenor is nervous about a big performance, he prays about bringing glory to God through his talent, he said.

In 2009, he took a job with the choir at Our Lady of the Mount Catholic Church on the Georgia side of Lookout Mountain.

He attended 13 years of Catholic school as a child but left the church behind in college. However, the weekend position fit well with McCecil's full-time work schedule and helped offset the cost of owning a home in Brainerd. In a way, going back to serve in the Catholic Church made him feel worthy, he said.

Several years into the role, McCecil was promoted to lead the church's music program.

Staff photo by Wyatt Massey / John Thomas McCecil leads the choir during a rehearsal at Rivermont Presbyterian Church on Nov. 6, 2019.

He also got money from renting out his house. There, he met Jesse, a 37-year-old. McCecil was immediately attracted to him. The feeling was mutual. The two bonded over their shared interest in cooking, clean eating and theater.

Three months later, they were exclusive.

In May 2019, they were married in their backyard. They strung white Christmas lights around the foliage and planted a tree where Jesse McCecil proposed.

Months later, the couple visited a fertility clinic to get information about their options. They were seriously considering starting a family together when McCecil was told he must resign or be fired.

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'He made me feel like I was safe'

McCecil sat through many uncomfortable homilies during his first years with the choir at Our Lady of the Mount. The messages from the pulpit denounced homosexuality and the increasing rights of LGBTQ people, he said.

Those messages ceased when the Rev. Tom Shuler became pastor several years ago. Shuler encouraged his music minister to attend more church social gatherings, not just the Masses.

McCecil was hesitant. People at those events ask questions - about where people grew up, where they went to school and, most pressing, whether they are married. McCecil told the priest he would not lie if people asked, he said.

"That's when I came out to [Shuler]," he said. " And so he made me feel like I was safe. And he even went on to say that if anyone had a problem with it, they could come talk to him and he would set them straight or whatever. But apparently that's not the case."

Staff photo by Wyatt Massey / John Thomas McCecil sings and leads the choir during a rehearsal at Rivermont Presbyterian Church on Nov. 6, 2019.

Shuler declined to answer questions for this story because it involved church personnel.

The parish knew McCecil was gay, he said. McCecil was comfortable enough to tell them he was getting married, including the church secretary, director of children's music and Shuler, McCecil said.

Shortly after the announcement, Shuler requested a meeting. In that July 1 meeting, McCecil was told he had to resign because he made his marriage public. Shuler kept saying his hands were tied, McCecil said. He suspects the directive came from a Catholic leader beyond Lookout Mountain.

McCecil was given a day to decide to resign on his own terms or be fired.

Until then, McCecil did not think his presence in the church was a problem. He worked in the church's music program for a decade - babies he saw baptized during his first years were now participating in the children's music program. The priest comforted him when he came out.

A spokesperson from the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Atlanta, which oversees Our Lady of the Mount, declined to comment for the same reason.

However, a look at the archdiocese's employment manual and decades of precedent reveals why McCecil is no longer employed.

Upholding the church's teaching

The Archdiocese of Atlanta's employment manual outlines that employment "requires the employee's professional and personal life to be conducted in accordance with the teachings and principles of the Catholic Church and in such a manner as to set a proper example for the people served; employees who choose to lead their lives outside of the teachings of the Catholic Church jeopardize continued employment."

The Catholic Church's catechism holds that homosexual acts are a "grave depravity" and are "contrary to the natural law," because same-sex attraction is not "genuine." The church opposes same-sex marriages and instead calls people who are gay to a life of chastity. However, the church also teaches homosexuals should be accepted with respect and compassion.

Critics of the church's policies point out Catholic institutions are less likely to enforce other Catholic teachings, such as the use of birth control, divorce or having sex before marriage. But these acts are more private. By definition, marriage is public, Faggioli said.

"There are some Catholic leaders who think that kind of statement is incompatible with the Catholic teaching on marriage," Faggioli said. " So they think it is within their right to dismiss that employee because they contradict an important part of the church's teaching on marriage."

There is little employees can do to push back. The government does not want to do anything to challenge the First Amendment.

Staff photo by Wyatt Massey / John Thomas McCecil leads the choir during a rehearsal at Rivermont Presbyterian Church on Nov. 6, 2019.

Morality clauses, like the one about maintaining church teaching, are common in employment contracts, said Hugh Baran, staff attorney at the National Employment Labor Project. This puts the power with the employer, especially because employers know their employees are unlikely to challenge them in court, he said.

Catholic Church leaders lag behind American society and U.S. parishes, said Marianne Duddy-Burke, executive director of DignityUSA, an advocacy organization for LGBTQ rights in the Catholic Church.

Polling data from Public Religion Research Institute found that in 2017 two-thirds of white and Hispanic Catholics in America support same-sex marriage, an increase seen most predominantly in recent years. The Pew Research Center found LGBTQ support among Catholics is stronger among younger generations, with 85% of Catholics age 18-29 saying same-sex marriage should be accepted. However, American Catholics represent a fraction of the more than 1 billion Catholics around the world, most of whom agree with the church's teaching.

"The voices of (American) Catholics are drowned out by the small, non-representative leadership of the church," Duddy-Burke said.

The unwillingness to rework Catholic teaching - which has been done several times throughout history - is pushing people away from the church, Duddy-Burke said.

Whether a parish is welcoming or hostile to members of the LGBTQ community is in the hands of local pastors, who set the tone of their community, Duddy-Burke said.

There is indication these grassroots efforts are reaching the ears of prominent Catholic leaders. In 2013, Pope Francis famously responded "Who am I to judge?" to a reporter's question about gay Catholics. While Francis holds the church's conservative views on sexuality, many saw his comment of compassion as a sign the church may change.

In June 2017, Father James Martin, S.J., one of the most well-known U.S. Catholic leaders, published "Building a Bridge" about how to reconcile the relationship between the Catholic Church and the LGBTQ community. For the Catholic LGBTQ community, a prominent Catholic leader calling on the church to acknowledge the damage it has done was groundbreaking. In September, Martin had a private meeting with the pope about improving relations with the LGBTQ community.

'Making us stronger'

McCecil's last Mass on Lookout Mountain came on Aug. 4. He was able to negotiate a few more weeks of work since the July meeting when he was asked to resign.

There was no announcement about his last day until that morning, McCecil said. When shocked parishioners asked why, he did not lie. In the months since, people sent cards. Others said they stopped attending because of the church's decision, he said.

Staff photo by Wyatt Massey / A photo of the Our Lady of the Mount Catholic Church sign on Nov. 6, 2019.

The church's decision amplifies the precedent about who is welcome and who is not, Jesse McCecil said. Having to be worried about whether they will be discriminated against should not be a concern for newlyweds, or anyone, he said.

McCecil is still processing. There is a lot of anger - anger stretching back further than the decision made this summer.

Christians today are doing things Jesus would never do, he said. Decades of facing hateful words made him good at putting on a brave face, not lashing out for what he sees as hypocrisy in the church. In the midst of the hurt, McCecil is trying to be an example of how Christians should respond in the face of injustice, he said.

"My beliefs are that the only worth that matters is the worth that I get from God," McCecil said. "So this happening was a reminder that I shouldn't get my worth from other people, that reminder (of) where my true worth comes from."

More than 11,000 people have signed an online petition organized by Faithful America supporting McCecil and calling on Bishop Joel Konzen of Atlanta to stop firing LGBTQ staff.

Several weeks after McCecil left the Catholic Church, he got an interim music position at Rivermont Presbyterian Church, part of the Presbyterian Church (USA) denomination that is open and affirming for members of the LGBTQ community. During the first services there, the couple was introduced as a couple to the congregation.

"To go into the Presbyterian Church where everyone has just been, just so welcoming and really showing us that we have a place there, that we're wanted there, we're loved there was just a welcome change from the Catholic Church," McCecil said.

Affirming the lived realities and love of the LGBTQ community is an opportunity, said the Rev. Clay Thomas, pastor at Rivermont. Being an affirming congregation means all people can participate in the church, even in leadership roles.

"Welcoming people who have been hurt by the church is a blessing for us," he said. "There's been so many people told, 'You can't be who you truly are' and be a part of this church."

What happened at Our Lady of the Mount added a lot of stress to the McCecils' first year of marriage. There was financial distress. They were forced to delay starting a family. They had to leave behind a community on Lookout Mountain a decade in the making.

But McCecil never felt like he had to process everything he was going through and feeling on his own. His husband was always there to listen, provide his thoughts and sometimes crack jokes, he said.

"God is, in my eyes, turning this to good because they're only strengthening our relationship," McCecil said. "What they've done to us is only making us stronger."