Do a web search, check the bookstore or take a look at social media for the term "hustle" and you'll find lots of information about the quest for "optimized performance and productivity."
Gary Vaynerchuk, chairman of VaynerX and CEO of VaynerMedia, defines it as putting every minute and all your effort into achieving the goal at hand. It's all about striving, dedication, persistence and continual improvement. Sounds tiring to us!
Tom Tozer and Bill BlackWhat message are we to impart to our teens in the current hustle culture? Work harder? Do more? Be better?
From office space to office obsession
When Bill's sons were growing up, one of their favorite movies was "Office Space." One of the characters, Peter Gibbons, who works in a cubicle at an IT company, tells a co-worker, "I don't like my job. I don't think I'll go anymore." His co-worker says, "You're just going to quit?" Peter says, "No, I'm just gonna stop going."
When Bob, the consultant, mentions to Peter that he's been missing quite a bit of work, Peter tells him, "Well, I wouldn't say I've been MISSING it, Bob."
The movie may not have provided the best message about work, achievement and meaning, but it does illustrate a stark change in the expectations of the workplace today.
Bill's sons knew the value of a balanced life. With business leaders and websites touting the value of long work hours and selfless dedication to the job as a key to self-identity and happiness, we worry about what this singular focus, this "hustle culture," is doing to our perspective and the relationship with our children. With such demanding expectations for work to provide so much of what we need, the opportunity for disappointment and burnout seems high and the chance for meaningful relationships at home can get lost.
Or such a singular focus can leak over into situations we see too often where dads pressure their kids relentlessly to achieve what they themselves didn't when they were growing up.
Life's balance
Sure we want to succeed and we want our kids to prosper. But success in life involves much more than work. Happiness, contentment and a sense of meaning are important, and they come from something bigger than work and larger than one's own self. Meaning comes when our kids connect with and do well by others, and that's something we can model for them.
We need to teach our kids to do well, contribute in meaningful work. But we also need to teach them to be grateful for their blessings and to show compassion for others. The hustle culture seems to tout work as the sole source of personal identity and happiness. This singular focus can lead to disengagement and can impact health. We need to help our children develop other interests, create time for personal reflection and care for one another. We may be old-fashioned, but we believe "owning one's moment" needs to apply to more than work and personal achievement.
Tom Tozer and Bill Black are authors of "Dads2Dads: Tools for Raising Teenagers." Like them on Facebook and follow them on Twitter at Dads2Dadsllc. Email them at tomandbill@Dads2Dadsllc.com.