Have you ever felt worthless? Dumb? Do you have tons of questions and no answers? Are you wandering around in a constant state of confusion? Well, Dad, you're not the only one. How about your kids?
We bet your daughter sometimes feels like she just doesn't measure up to everybody else in the universe. Or your son feels like everyone else is smarter, cooler, more attractive, funnier and by far more popular than he will ever be. Dad, have you or your kids ever felt lower than a worm?
We all have slump days
Relax. You're not alone. Everyone feels like a worm sometimes. Your friends do. Your kids' friends do. Their teachers do. Cheerleaders do. Sports stars, rock stars, movie stars do. In fact, many professional performers will admit that one reason they act, dance, sing or cheer is because they need the audience's applause and approval. They need reassurance that they are good at what they do. And these are the people who appear to have it made. No way. Sometimes they feel like a worm.
Reassurance is good insurance
All of us need a pat on the back. This acknowledgement erases the doubts we have about ourselves. Suddenly, we're smart, handsome, funny, cool. At least until next time when that worm crawls out and we crawl under. Then we need to hear someone say, "You're OK!"
Tom Tozer and Bill BlackDad, when you feel like you don't measure up, think about your special gifts. Are you good with tools ... your voice ... a tennis racquet? If you could be better, work at it. Practice. Improve. Become brilliant at it. By spending your energy to improve, you won't have time to feel inferior.
It's OK
Pass that work ethic on to your kids. They have special gifts, too. Help them feel good about themselves and what they have to offer to others. Sure, we're human. There are days when we're going to feel like a worm. And that's OK.
Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." It's in our power to rise above the worm. If someone has made you feel like a worm, chances are he's leaving a trail in the dirt as well.
Take control, tiger!
Dad, instill the idea in your kids that they are in control of who they are and what they feel. Has your son or daughter chosen to feel like a worm today? Why? What would it take to rise to the level of a tiger? If we can dwell too long on the negative until we are crawling on our belly, certainly we can dwell long enough on the positive and ascend to a higher level. Remember, no one can make you feel like a worm without your consent.
Tom Tozer and Bill Black are authors of "Dads2Dads: Tools for Raising Teenagers." Like them on Facebook and follow them on Twitter at Dads2Dadsllc. Email them at tomandbill@Dads2Dadsllc.com.