DEAR ABBY: Is my daughter headed into an abusive, controlling relationship? She is 18. The young man tries to control where she is, won't let her go anywhere without him, and questions her if he thinks she spent too much of her own money. To me, these are signs of the beginning of years of hell, but to her, they're cute because he "cares," or I don't understand him. Am I being unfair because of my own past of abuse? - BEEN THERE IN PENNSYLVANIA
DEAR BEEN THERE: Not at all! You have listed some of the classic signs of an abusive partner. Here are more signs:
1. Pushes for quick involvement.
2. Jealousy
3. Controlling
4. Unrealistic expectations.
5. Isolation
6. Blames others for problems or mistakes.
7. Makes others responsible for his or her feelings.
8. Hypersensitivity
9. Cruelty to animals or children.
10. "Playful" use of force during sex.
11. Verbal abuse.
12. Rigid gender roles.
13. Sudden mood swings.
14. Past battering.
15. Threats of violence.
Anyone at risk should contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233 or thehotline.org.
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