DEAR ABBY: My 52-year-old twin brother - whom I'm close to - is getting married soon for the first time. His fiancee, who divorced after 18 years of marriage, is doing all the planning. She has not included me or my kids (my brother's only niece and nephew) so far, nor are we included on the wedding day except as guests at the ceremony and reception.
My brother was a groomsman in my wedding 17 years ago. I feel hurt being excluded and I want to say something, but I don't know what to say or whether I should talk to my brother or his fiancee. And I don't know, at this point, how the kids or I could be included. Any advice would be appreciated. - ANGUISHED SIS IN ARIZONA
DEAR SIS: This show is being run by your brother's fiancee. She may not be aware he was a groomsman at your wedding, and frankly, I'm not sure what bearing it would have on their own. You and your children should attend your brother's wedding, welcome his bride into the family and have a good time, which should be easy since there will be no responsibility on any of your shoulders.
DEAR ABBY: I have a good friend who loves to make me chicken soup. She brings it over proudly and enjoys giving me the container. The soup is delicious, except for one thing: It has tiny bones in it. I can't stand the texture of these little bones, and I'm worried about swallowing one inadvertently.
I have talked to her about it. She said that's the way her mom used to make chicken soup. She also told me the bones are edible because they're very small, and they are inevitable because she is using the whole chicken. She promised to strain the soup for me before adding the other ingredients. Unfortunately, I found bones in the strained soup as well.
Abby, I don't know what to do. I really don't want to eat the soup. I don't want to waste it, but it would crush her if I told her I didn't want the soup anymore. Any ideas? - DONE WITH THE SOUP
DEAR DONE: Remove the vegetables from the soup she brings and strain it again, through cheesecloth or a fine strainer. Once you have clear broth, return the veggies to the liquid and enjoy it.
DEAR ABBY: My stepson and his wife have requested cash gifts for their two children's birthdays and other holidays because "they really don't need more toys at ages 2 and 4." I understand this. What I find peculiar is that they told us they put the maximum amount they are allowed into their kids' college funds each pay period, and when someone gives the kids money, they put that money in instead of their own. Am I wrong in thinking we are giving the gift to them, and not to my grandkids? - FEELING TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF
DEAR FEELING: I don't think you are wrong. But the question is, is this something worth arguing about?
TO MY READERS: I wish you all a joyous, meaningful and safe Christmas. Merry Christmas, everyone! - LOVE, ABBY
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." Send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $8 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling are included in the price.)
Jeanne Phillips