DEAR ABBY: My father passed away a few months ago. My brother lives out of state, so emptying the house has been up to me. Shortly after the funeral, my adult son (the only grandchild) arrived and loaded his car with all the toilet paper, paper towels, light bulbs, cleaning products, etc. He did it without asking, so I promptly had the locks changed. When I asked him about it, he said, "Grandpa doesn't need the stuff anymore."
After months of packing (by myself), we are now down to the furniture, and my son wants everything. He feels he's entitled to it. Rather than select one or two pieces, he is "gimme, gimme, gimme" and sees nothing wrong with this attitude. I didn't raise him that way, but he is that way now. What should I do? — GREEDY OUT WEST
DEAR GREEDY: Although at this point it's a little late, what you should do is finally say no. Unless your father stated specifically — in writing — that your son should get everything, what he did is considered stealing.
DEAR ABBY: What the heck happens to men between the ages of 45 and 60? It seems the women they're after are all 15 to 20 years younger. I don't mean just for sex but for dating, love and marriage, too.
We middle-aged women are often overlooked because these middle-aged guys don't realize we are at our sexual peak and often hot as hell. And we're active in many interesting, fulfilling activities. By the time these men come to their senses, they are usually washed-up and impotent. Why is nature and society so cruel and unfair? How can I, as a sexy, active middle-aged woman, beat the odds? I do not intend to remain celibate and alone for the rest of my life. — STILL FUN IN THE SOUTH
DEAR STILL FUN: You can't change other people, but you can change the way you react to them. A way to "beat the odds" would be to stop focusing solely on middle-aged guys and consider dating men a bit younger who appreciate what you have to offer. Even if it doesn't lead to marriage, you could have a lot of fun in the meantime.
DEAR ABBY: We have a friend who often comes to us for advice, but never seems to take it. She keeps making the same mistake over and over again. How do we get through to her? — FRIENDS WHO CARE IN UTAH
DEAR FRIENDS: Candidly? Realize you can't get through to her because she's not really seeking advice. Rather than listening, she's venting. Because of the friendship, listen when she "dumps," but refrain from offering wisdom you know will be disregarded.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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