We Americans really don't ever seem to agree on much, and 2020 did not improve that situation any. But if there is one thing we should all be able to agree on, one matter that is so obvious that no one in his right mind should dispute it, one thing so utterly heinous and unthinkable as to cause everyone to react to it with revulsion and loathing, one thing that ought to make all of America, nay, all of humanity itself rise up and shout in unison, it is this:
Popcorn ceilings are of the devil.
After years of study in Hebrew, Greek and Remodeling, I am convinced that just after suckering Adam and Eve to eat the forbidden fruit, the very next thing the devil did was try to convince them to do a popcorn ceiling in whatever dwelling place they had there in the Garden of Eden.
As you perhaps have surmised, I have recently been in the process of removing the popcorn from one of the ceiling areas in our home. Mind you, we were not the evil wretches that installed them to begin with, we are merely the victims of that treachery; the people now left with the task of removing the vile substance that clings to a surface like a teenager clutches a cellphone.
Popcorn ceilings, at least in my opinion, are a bad idea all the way around. They collect dust and cobwebs, and any attempt at removing said dust and cobwebs results in a tiny dry dusty snowstorm in your home. Flies love popcorn ceilings; they seem to instinctively know that no one will dare try to swat them as they nestle among the dry crags overhead. So why, then, with all of their obvious deficiencies, do people ever do popcorn ceilings to begin with?
When I posed that question to an expert drywall man I know well, he responded without any hesitation by saying, "They are fast and easy."
In other words, rather than take the time to tape, put on several coats of mud, sand everything down perfectly, then paint, doing a popcorn ceiling removes most of that from the equation in favor of mostly "point and spray."
But inevitably, somewhere down the line, some homeowner will be muttering imprecatory words under his breath as he wets, scrapes, dries and sands all of that away and does retroactively what should have been done in the first place.
How often, though, do people take the "easy route" on things rather than taking the time and expending the effort to do them properly the first time around?
Proverbs 21:5 says, "The thoughts of the diligent tend only to plenteousness; but of every one that is hasty only to want." This is one of nine times that the word "hasty" is mentioned in the Bible. And it is not just negative in this Proverb; it is negative in all other eight references as well. It is 100% "not good" in Scripture. If we could somehow open the top of the heads of every young person we love and pour one practical truth directly into the cerebral cortex, it should probably be "don't get in a hurry; do everything right the first time, every time."
Don't get in a hurry with relationships. Build great friendships, graduate high school, get a job or go to college, and then think marriage some time after all of that. And then after, I repeat "after" you have married, have sex and children.
Don't get in a hurry getting the "stuff" you think you must have. Debt is debilitating. Pay cash for things, then save up more money and get nicer things the next time around, and then do the same thing again. Pretty soon you will have very nice things without all of the stress that comes from being over your head in debt.
Don't get in a hurry trying to get rich. Live on a budget, build a solid savings account, invest for the long term, and you will almost certainly end up living very comfortably while the gamblers and pyramid schemers sink deeper and deeper into poverty while constantly wasting precious resources chasing "the big score."
Don't get in a hurry bouncing from job to job. Yes, you will sometimes find that changing jobs advances you in some meaningful way. But you will also find that constantly bouncing from job to job eventually makes employers leery to hire you to begin with and unwilling to promote you if you do get hired.
Above all, if you are saved, don't get in a hurry in your walk with God. Read the Bible slowly and deeply. Pray long and personally. Worship like you have nothing else to do for a while. Microwave pizza rolls: good. Microwave worship: bad.
And don't put up a popcorn ceiling.
Bo Wagner is pastor of Cornerstone Baptist Church of Mooresboro, North Carolina, a widely traveled evangelist and the author of several books available on Amazon and at www.wordofhismouth.com. Email him at 2knowhim@cbc-web.org.
Pastor Bo Wagner