Author Jeanne Phillips, the daughter of the original advice columnist Dear Abby, poses for a photo in Los Angeles, Friday, Oct. 5, 2007.DEAR ABBY: I am heartbroken. I was sending my uncle "Tony," who is like my best friend, pictures of a football game, and he sent me back a very inappropriate picture of himself. He says it was a "mistake," that it was supposed to go to his wife, but the text message he sent with it showed different. I don't want to be around him. I'm disgusted and hurt. What do I do? -- HEARTBROKEN IN GEORGIA
DEAR HEARTBROKEN: Share the photo and texts with your parents. Ask if they think you should forward the picture and text to your aunt with a note explaining Uncle Tony said they were meant for her, and you didn't want her to miss them. Because he makes you uncomfortable, listen to your intuition and keep your distance. What he did was appalling.
DEAR ABBY: I'm a female working in an office with all men. Yesterday, I ate a salad that had a variety of beans. I was standing outside my boss's office, laughing at a joke one of the salesmen was telling when the beans got the best of me, and I passed gas. I was mortified and wanted to sink through the floor. I patted the salesman on the arm and said, "I guess that's what I think of the joke," and walked back into my office. I didn't know what else to say or do. Today I can't look either of them in the face.
Since this seems to be something that happens to older people (I'm 69), and it's something we don't have total control over -- please tell me how to "recover." If it should happen again, what should I do? -- BEANS, THE MUSICAL FRUIT
DEAR B.T.M.F.: Stop beating yourself up over this. Expelling gas is normal. According to the National Institutes of Health, the average person passes gas about 14 times a day -- although probably not as spectacularly as you did. If it happens again, just say, "Excuse me," and if the "toot" is a fragrant one, distance yourself. I'm positive that would be appreciated.