Dear Abby: Dad wonders how to show soon-to-be-ex appreciation for being good mom

Dear Abby: Dad wonders how to show soon-to-be-ex appreciation for being good mom

May 10th, 2015 by By Jeanne Phillips in Opinion Columns

Author Jeanne Phillips, the daughter of the original advice columnist Dear Abby, poses for a photo in Los Angeles, Friday, Oct. 5, 2007.

Author Jeanne Phillips, the daughter of the original...

Photo by Associated Press /Times Free Press.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I will be legally divorced within a few weeks. We have a 1-year-old son. Although we have been separated for eight months, she is an awesome mother to our son. A man could not ask for a better lady to care for his child. We don't talk about much other than our son. We are no longer in love, but I can honestly say I love her for who she is -- the mother of my child.

Mother's Day is here and I would like her to know how much I appreciate all she has done, is doing and will do for our boy. Would it be appropriate to send a quick message expressing this to her? Or should I leave it alone? -- HOUSTON DADDY

DEAR DADDY: I'm a firm believer that if you think something nice, you should share it. You should absolutely express your thoughts. While the two of you may no longer be in love, I'm sure she would be gratified to know that she has your respect and appreciation. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: For several years after my wife and I married, we could not have a child. Then God smiled on us. We adopted a precious boy and later a girl, and our lives changed forever.

Every year on Mother's Day, my thoughts turn to my wife, my mother and my wife's mother. But there is also always that special feeling for the birth mothers of my children. Were it not for their unselfish love, I would not be writing this letter.

So, birth mothers, if you wonder what became of the children you presented for adoption, they have grown up, they have been loved and they are happy. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your gift of love to us. You will never be forgotten. -- PROUD ADOPTIVE FATHER

DEAR FATHER: Surrounded by so much love and gratitude, I'm sure your children have developed into successful adults.

DEAR ABBY: Last year was my first Mother's Day without my mom. Because I was feeling down, I bought a bouquet of flowers, carried it to a nursing home, handed it to a nurse and asked her to give it to a mom who wouldn't get anything for Mother's Day. It was bittersweet, but it boosted my spirits on what was a sad day. Just wanted to share. -- GWEN'S SON IN OHIO

DEAR SON: Thank you for sharing. I miss my mom, too. Gwen must have been a lovely, caring person to have raised such a thoughtful son.

DEAR ABBY: For Mother's Day, I want to say how much I love and appreciate my mom. I can never thank her enough for adopting me when I was a sick and abandoned infant. She has been to hell and back with me, but has never condemned my actions. She would just pick me up and point me in the right direction.

It has been 57 years since God sent this angel to save me (with my dad as backup), and she still guides me every day. Her kind smile and words literally saved my life. -- LOVED IN OMAHA

DEAR READERS: Today I'm wishing a happy Mother's Day to moms everywhere -- birth mothers, adoptive and foster mothers, stepmothers and grandmothers who are raising grandchildren. For what you do, I salute you. LOVE, ABBY

Getting Started/Comments Policy

Getting started

  1. 1. If you frequently comment on news websites then you may already have a Disqus account. If so, click the "Login" button at the top right of the comment widget and choose whether you'd rather log in with Facebook, Twitter, Google, or a Disqus account.
  2. 2. If you've forgotten your password, Disqus will email you a link that will allow you to create a new one. Easy!
  3. 3. If you're not a member yet, Disqus will go ahead and register you. It's seamless and takes about 10 seconds.
  4. 4. To register, either go through the login process or just click in the box that says "join the discussion," type your comment, and either choose a social media platform to log you in or create a Disqus account with your email address.
  5. 5. If you use Twitter, Facebook or Google to log in, you will need to stay logged into that platform in order to comment. If you create a Disqus account instead, you'll need to remember your Disqus password. Either way, you can change your display name if you'd rather not show off your real name.
  6. 6. Don't be a huge jerk or do anything illegal, and you'll be fine.

Chattanooga Times Free Press Comments Policy

The Chattanooga Times Free Press web sites include interactive areas in which users can express opinions and share ideas and information. We cannot and do not monitor all of the material submitted to the website. Additionally, we do not control, and are not responsible for, content submitted by users. By using the web sites, you may be exposed to content that you may find offensive, indecent, inaccurate, misleading, or otherwise objectionable. You agree that you must evaluate, and bear all risks associated with, the use of the Times Free Press web sites and any content on the Times Free Press web sites, including, but not limited to, whether you should rely on such content. Notwithstanding the foregoing, you acknowledge that we shall have the right (but not the obligation) to review any content that you have submitted to the Times Free Press, and to reject, delete, disable, or remove any content that we determine, in our sole discretion, (a) does not comply with the terms and conditions of this agreement; (b) might violate any law, infringe upon the rights of third parties, or subject us to liability for any reason; or (c) might adversely affect our public image, reputation or goodwill. Moreover, we reserve the right to reject, delete, disable, or remove any content at any time, for the reasons set forth above, for any other reason, or for no reason. If you believe that any content on any of the Times Free Press websites infringes upon any copyrights that you own, please contact us pursuant to the procedures outlined in the Digital Millennium Copyright Act (Title 17 U.S.C. § 512) at the following address:

Copyright Agent
The Chattanooga Times Free Press
400 East 11th Street
Chattanooga, TN 37403
Phone: 423-757-6315