Robin SmithFacebook has successfully redefined the term "friend." Most often used as a noun before the explosion of social media, we now use "friend" as a verb when we permit friends and others access to our Facebook page to share the big and small moments of life, photos, witticisms, favorite meals or vacation spots.
Not only has social media altered our use of the word as a structure of grammar, but, sadly, in meaning.
Having hundreds and thousands of friends is quite common within the world of an engaged individual who spends hours with their Facebook community. Indeed, I'm one of those who posts frequently and stays in contact with folks near and far. Social media is a wonderful vehicle to connect with existing friends, strengthen relations with those who otherwise would be out of reach by space and time, and extend the reach to make new acquaintances.
The value of authentic, direct friendships, however, is not experienced by those who substitute personal interaction with a platform of distance, some type of anonymity with little risk of either growing closer or apart. The fear of commitment so very characteristic of recent generations is fueled by the ever-growing surrogacy of faux friends in number and online activity versus in-person contact.
In recent days, my family has experienced the homegoing of my father after a recurrence of cancer. While our family grieved our loss and heaven's gain, the benefit of social media was simply incredible to span the distance of family and friends. However, the friendships that have been forged through the years of high school, college, weddings, babies birthed, other battles with cancer and illness, loss of jobs and other crises steeled together with laughter, joy, fun, fellowship and love form the unbreakable and enduring bonds that kept our family going.
Do our children see us serving our friends and neighbors in good times and bad? Will the coming generations have models of generosity, gratitude and great love expressed through action? Or, will it suffice to post a warm word of encouragement within a social media account with no human contact or expression of kindness? Are we robbing our entire culture of the value of true friendship?
Facebook was launched in February of 2004 and continues to serve a great good. Yet, the need for human companionship and authentic friendship originates with a loving Creator.
Not only should our concerns be with those who choose the ease of social media but, worse, those who are "friendly" when the benefit serves them under the guise of friendship. Those who exploit others until they find no usefulness in a relationship tend to serve as a key reason many remain in the safety of their cyberworld rather than enjoying authentic friends. Being hurt or betrayed is much more likely in personal friendships (which demand work and patience).
Enjoy all that your social media "friends" may offer, but commit to only employ that instrument to strengthen, not replace, friendships.
In the last several months, our family has attempted to express deep gratitude and love for the shared meals, tears, laughter and joys in great times of trial. We remain forever grateful.
So, to those who are friendly, I hope authentic friendship replaces opportunism. For the countless who are the earthly treasures as our deepest friends, thank you for the richness you add to life.
Robin Smith, a former chairwoman of the Tennessee Republican Party, is owner of Rivers Edge Alliance.