There are five presidential candidates left. We have been dealt Donald Trump, Ted Cruz, John Kasich, Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton. If they were a poker hand, I'd fold.
As we roll toward the general election, our nation comes closer and closer to one of those all-important, "historic firsts" that the media so love: We could elect our first orange president, someone who has vodka and steak named after him, to boot.
In an anti-establishment year, Donald Trump destroyed Bush III. Jeb Bush spent hundreds of millions of the GOP establishment's dollars and never got much above low double digits in the polls. If we have learned anything about sequels, they usually end up being a very expensive disappointment.
Each side's leading candidate has huge unfavorability ratings. Both Hillary and The Donald are disliked by about 55 percent of the country. Bill Cosby and former Subway spokesman Jared Fogle have lower unfavorable ratings than our leading presidential candidates — and about the same odds of being indicted.
In another potentially "historic first," Hillary and Bill Clinton might become the first two-impeachment family. What she knowingly did with her private email server, sending and receiving classified documents outside the government system, was a hundred times worse than what Gen. David Petraeus did. He let his girlfriend know his schedule — and she had a security clearance. He was indicted because he differed with President Obama on Iraq strategy and thus was a political enemy. This administration's legacy will be one of selective prosecutions against people or organizations who take it on.
Not many folks have pointed out that, along with an extensive list of Republicans who Obama has sicced his jackbooted Justice Department thugs on, Obama's henchmen went after Rush Limbaugh's biggest sponsor, LifeLock. This should scare us all. And this administration protects its thugs, like Lois Lerner, who do its bidding. Nothing has happened to her.
Hillary reasoned that she had to make peace with Obama so he would not indict her. The Clintons never got along with the Obamas. Hillary initially ran against Obama on many issues, but has since settled for running on his record after they met for lunch at the White House. It was a quaint meeting: just the two of them and their food tasters.
It will be interesting to see how much Hillary uses Bill for help in the general election. He has made robo-calls in the past for Democrat candidates, but, out of habit, Bill hangs up when a woman's husband answers the phone. He perfected this talent back in Arkansas, where he was the first to do robo-booty-calls.
It would not be a surprise if the Clinton camp makes robo-calls saying that Trump was recently endorsed by a mild-mannered, African-American doctor who is a well-liked family man yet who has recently fallen in the polls. They would go on to imply it was Dr. Bill Cosby.
To be fair, Bill Cosby has avoided prosecution on 99 percent of allegations by women over his past sexual misconduct because of our statutes of limitation. That is the one law that makes Bill and Hillary Clinton consider being strict "rule of law" constitutional constructionists.
The Clinton campaign has hinted that it will find a place in the White House for their beloved Bill Clinton if Hillary is elected. She will be in the West Wing a-presidentin', so I presume they will put Bill in the East Wing basement, where Hillary can't make any surprise pop-in visits. I just hope the Internet connection in that basement is good so Bill's videos don't take too much time buffering.
Democrats have to have a charismatic person to peddle their flawed ideology. Obama has been a great salesman, as was Bill Clinton. The Republicans have not had an effective messenger since the "Great Communicator," Ronald Reagan.
Given this lack, and since Hillary is so totally unlikable, it will be a slog for her to win without Bill. He is so loved by both the media and Democrats that they have preserved his childhood home in Hope, Ark., for the world to see. On display are his house and the lake nearby, where they say he learned to walk.
Contact Ron Hart at Ron@RonaldHart.com or @RonaldHart on Twitter.