Quick, what decade are we in?
The 20-teens? The 20-tens? The decade with no name?
In order for nostalgia to find a nest, a decade needs a proper nickname. For those of us born in the 20th century, we remember each decade - the '60s, for example - as a distinct cultural unit, defined by the products and popular culture of the day.
But what about our 21st-century kids? What will they hold dear from the 2010s?
My wife and I have two sons, ages 15 and 10, and sometimes I wonder what pop-culture icons of this decade will come to seem quaint as they grow older. Let me guess a few: Trump, iPhones, fidget spinners, TV talent shows, designer sneakers, SUVs.
My formative decade was the 1970s. I was 12 years old when the decade began and a 22-year-old college senior when it ended. I can still see, feel, taste and smell the 1970s. In fact, it took me about two minutes to make a list of 10 random things I miss from the so-called "Me" decade.
So, here goes:
- Whitewall tires. We forget now, but whitewall tires (really, white sidewall tires) had a long run, from the 1900s to the 1970s. As the designated car washer in our family, part of my job was scrubbing the whitewalls on the family station wagon with a Brillo pad.
There was something deeply satisfying to me about watching the whitewalls go from dingy gray to dazzling white. Alas, alloy wheels became bigger, tire sidewalls became shorter and whitewalls eventually disappeared.
- Drive-in movies. Yes, I know they still exist, but in the 1970s there was a drive-in theater in nearly every small town. There was something about waiting for sunset for the premovie cartoons to start that added to the anticipation.
I remember going to see James Bond movies with my parents and sneaking in to see "Walking Tall" - a biopic about Tennessee Sheriff Buford Pusser - as a 15-year-old in 1973.
- Tube socks. OK, call me crazy, but I actually liked athletic socks that covered the calf. There was something satisfying about pulling up your socks and having them magically stay in place. Tall socks also had room for three horizontal stripes in your team's colors.
I remember when basketball star "Pistol" Pete Maravich was considered a rebel just for letting his socks droop.
- Archie Bunker. He was perhaps the most famous TV character of the 1970s, and I sometimes wonder if Archie, played brilliantly by actor Carroll O'Connor, could even exist on network television today. In our politically correct times, Archie would no doubt wound some people's sensibilities.
Satire requires a level of free thought that seems to be sadly lacking today.
- Giant SweeTarts. OK, hold your emails. I am aware that Giant SweeTarts still exist, but today's are chewy. Back in my day, Giant SweeTarts were as big as door knobs and as dense as river rocks. You could literally gnaw on one all day.
I had a broken front tooth that helped me excavate the edges.
- Gas station attendants. The 1970s were the decade that gave us self-service gas stations. In the beginning, customers had their choice of full-service or self-service islands.
For those of you who don't like today's self-service supermarket checkouts, beware that your days of having a choice might be numbered.
- Station wagons. I grew up taking road trips in the family station wagon; namely an Oldsmobile Vista Cruiser. Today, SUVs and crossovers have virtually killed the wagon segment.
It's a shame. By design, SUVs have a higher center of gravity, which makes them more prone to rollover accidents. Also, their upright stance creates a lot of wind resistance, which reduces fuel economy.
Bring back the low, long wagon, please!
- Shag carpeting. I realize I'm in the minority on this. But there was something about a newly raked - yes, raked - shag carpet that made me smile.
- Chicago. The band, not the city. I heard a Chicago song on an oldies station the other day. The lush arrangement, with horns and rhythm section, made me nostalgic for the days when popular music was sophisticated. Today's pop stars, with their whispery vocals and synthesized background tracks, are producing what will be judged a dead period in popular music.
- Jimmy Carter. History may judge Carter as an ineffective president, but there was something comforting to me about having a Sunday School teacher in the Oval Office.
Call me old-fashioned.
Contact Mark Kennedy at mkennedy@timesfreepress.com.