Let's start with the head-scratching moment of, "Man, we have real problems in this life, so it's a good thing someone has the time to worry about this":
After much belly-aching from PETA, Nabisco finally freed the caged wild animals on the front of its iconic animal crackers box.
Yes, PETA was perturbed because the animals were depicted behind bars. Would inhumane treatment of imaginary animals be "inhumanaginary treatment" in the end?
Man, someone needs to get the JAG Corps on the blower to investigate Cap'n Crunch and determine if he truly is, you know, a captain.
---
Cliches proving true
Well, got to admit, this sounds like the start to an adult joke.
An Irish hiker walks around the trail.
Well, said teenage hiker was on a steep slope on Slieve Bearnagh (think Gruetli-Laager, only drunker) and was struck by a falling sheep.
Yes, you read that correctly. I kid you not. Sure, I could get into a slew of baaaaaad jokes and such.
The hiker was rescued by 17 medical techs and - rest easy, PETA - the animal was reportedly unharmed; thankfully for the PETA folks, it had a human to break its fall.
Still, it proves the adage sheep happens.
---
Reruns
Television executives have embraced the reboot. Completely.
Whether it was the success of "Roseanne" and "Will & Grace" or a lack of original ideas is anyone's guess.
How re-diculous is the reboot reunion? There are 30 - yes, 30 - titles either on the air or in production with which you are very familiar.
Hawaii Five-O. Magnum P.I. Murphy Brown. Frasier. Twilight Zone. Miami Vice. The Jetsons. You get the idea.
Gang, if we're going to go old-school, then why in the world has there not been an All in the Family remake? Seriously.
In these overly sensitive times, the stereotypical Archie Bunker would be the perfect antagonist.
---
He did what?
Necessity has been called the mother of invention.
Maybe boredom is the father of infamy.
To that point, meet Vako Marchilashvili. No, he's not from Rossville.
Marchilashvili is a Georgian teenager (Georgia as in the country that used to be part of the Soviet Union) who in the last week broke a hard-to-believe (and even harder to imagine) world record.
Vako solved six Rubik's Cubes. Yes, that's impressive, but that's not Guiness-worthy.
Vako solved those six Rubik's Cubes in a minute and 44 seconds. Again, impressive, but not world-record-setting.
Vako completed his six pack while he was underwater. On one breath.
Now that's making a name for yourself.
---
Saturday's star
Friday's news of John McCain's decision to no longer fight his brain cancer gave me pause.
Yes, both of my parents died of brain cancer in the last two years. But it was more than that.
The grace and passion that McCain showed fighting for and governing our nation is worthy of a litany of compliments.
I'll just leave it here: John McCain, thanks for everything you did for America. Godspeed.
Contact Jay Greeson at jgreeson@timesfreepress.com and 423-757-6343.