Our 11-year-old son said the other day that he wants to go into business pressure washing houses.
Our family recently invested in a gas-powered pressure washer, and after several days of work at our house, the boy had run out of things to blast.
"Maybe I could make some signs and put them up in our neighborhood," he said excitedly.
Mark Kennedy"Good thinking," I said. "But you might want to do fliers instead. You could walk around and stick them in people's doors."
"Oh, yeah," he said approvingly.
He said he wants to take his profits and park them in his college fund.
"I'm going to college for seven years, you know," he explained.
"Seven years!" I said. "No, I didn't know that. What do you plan to be? "
"A lawyer," he said.
"Why?" I asked.
"Because I'm good at arguing," he said.
What he failed to say is that he is also good at telling stories and negotiating.
I read a description of trial lawyers recently that rang true to me. The writer said that the best trial lawyers not only know the law, but they are also gifted storytellers who know how to cast their client as a sympathetic character in a simple narrative that a jury can understand.
I asked our son to explain his sudden interest in the legal profession.
He said that he had read about a lawyer whose client had been hit in the head by an automatic door on a cruise ship and, as a result of the injury, developed chronic seizures. He said a settlement had netted several million dollars for the stricken man, with presumably a nice cut for the lawyers.
"Aha," I said. "So money is your motive."
"Well, yes," he said.
I suspect his entrepreneurial instincts may shine a light down several paths before he settles on a career. That's OK. As parents we often feel the temptation to orchestrate, or at least influence, our children's career choices. This is a dangerous impulse.
A retired professor friend told me last week that today's college students often schlep around the burden of parental expectations. One student even confided to my friend that she had to check in with her mom before making any decision, big or small.
Our older son, who is 16, has developed enough independence to sometimes respectfully decline my help, which I think is wonderful.
"If it's OK, I'd rather just do it myself," he will say, without fear of reprisal.
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"Of course" is my automatic response.
As parents, we instinctively want to share our life experiences. If we can only steer our children our of harm's way, we reason, we can make their lives easier. Standing down is counterintuitive. But often it works.
Most of the successes our boys have had come at their own initiative. The times I have demanded to put my fingerprint on their decisions, it's had mixed results.
I realize they will continue to come to me only if they trust me to be an adviser not a dictator.
It will not surprise me one bit if our youngest becomes a lawyer. Or he may start a painting company and pressure-wash houses for a living.
It's an open question as to which career might lead to a richer life. Which is why it's important that he decide these things, not me.
As long as he is thinking and working - both of which he does in abundance - I have faith that all things will work together for good.
Contact Mark Kennedy at mkennedy@timesfreepress.com or 423-757-6645.