Hart: Royal wedding is expensive but, like, really important

Hart: Royal wedding is expensive but, like, really important

May 25th, 2018 by Ron Hart in Opinion Columns

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle kiss on the steps of St George's Chapel at Windsor Castle following their wedding in Windsor Castle in Windsor, near London, England, on May 19, 2018. (Danny Lawson/pool photo via AP)

Photo by Danny Lawson

Last Saturday morning, heard all across the country, "the royal wedding is on TV, the royal wedding is on," screamed by sons who could never quite throw a spiral.

As a royal wedding correspondent, I had to watch the royal wedding. And, my youngest daughter has her wedding in November, so we all watched, which I hated. The royals spent $40 million on their wedding, and now I am the jerk who has to bring her Adairsville, Ga., wedding in at .0025 percent of that. Thanks a lot, Meghan Markle from the B-level television show "Suits!"

Ron Hart

Ron Hart

Photo by Contributed Photo /Times Free Press.

A few observations about the royal wedding: The father of the bride was a no-show. I can only speculate that he saw the $40 million tab and escaped to Mexico.

In what the media reminds us is the most racist society of all time, the wedding was of an African-American woman who was once married and had a black preacher and choir. This will mark the first time a black American becomes royalty, if you do not count Queen Latifah, Prince or Duke Ellington.

All Meghan Markle had to do to marry Prince Harry is renounce her past religions, and be baptized into King Henry VIII's Church of England — a religious order which has overseen the execution of many royal wives over the past few hundred years. The risk really pales in comparison to what she had to do in Hollywood for a role in a Harvey Weinstein movie.

The only video feed was from the BBC. And be careful googling BBC videos! But the British Broadcasting Co. fed the narrative to the 5,000 reporters there. As a shock to few, Fox News sent Shep Smith to cover the wedding. He pointed out that it was a surprise that Prince Harry kept his beard. Shep is also a man who has kept a beard for many years, so his insight was valuable.

The newlyweds said they would accept no gifts. Which was annoying to me because I had already gotten them one of those nice Crock-Pots with a retractable cord and three settings. The couple instead wanted donations to the Invictus Games, a charity for injured war vets. If there is one thing, other than this wedding, that draws Great Britain and the USA together, it is expensive, intractable and unwinnable wars of occupation in some of the worst hellholes in the world.

We will always have that.

I guess we Americans are fascinated with royal weddings. Hollywood stars were there. The only thing I could compare it to in America would be the Westminster Dog Show, but with more tail sniffing. We do not have public spectacles like that here, unless you count the congressional grilling of Facebook's Mark Zuckerberg and baseball's steroid user Jose Canseco.

No politicians were invited. Which is always refreshing. Trump was predictably mad, and vowed not to invite any of the royals to his next three weddings.

Yet events like this bring the world together with more than 3 billion people said to have watched. Even troubled socialist and communist countries like Venezuela and North Korea celebrated by ordering one of their two remaining bushels of rice be thrown for the blessed occasion.

The wedding broke tradition and was held on a Saturday. Because it was a short engagement, Windsor Castle, it turns out, was already booked for a bat mitzvah that Sunday.

So, in watching the biggest gathering of hats the world has seen in a decade, I walked away entertained and amused. I read a study that shows countries run by monarchies are more stable, wealthy and happier than others. And they clearly throw better weddings.

And I will admit, I would have loved to have been at the wedding and the series of after-parties that night. In many ways, they are just like us. Just imagine what it would be like to see the queen get a little toasted and dance to "Uptown Funk" and then do the electric slide with Camilla. Precious moments.

Contact Ron Hart at Ron@RonaldHart.com or on Twitter.

Getting Started/Comments Policy

Getting started

  1. 1. If you frequently comment on news websites then you may already have a Disqus account. If so, click the "Login" button at the top right of the comment widget and choose whether you'd rather log in with Facebook, Twitter, Google, or a Disqus account.
  2. 2. If you've forgotten your password, Disqus will email you a link that will allow you to create a new one. Easy!
  3. 3. If you're not a member yet, Disqus will go ahead and register you. It's seamless and takes about 10 seconds.
  4. 4. To register, either go through the login process or just click in the box that says "join the discussion," type your comment, and either choose a social media platform to log you in or create a Disqus account with your email address.
  5. 5. If you use Twitter, Facebook or Google to log in, you will need to stay logged into that platform in order to comment. If you create a Disqus account instead, you'll need to remember your Disqus password. Either way, you can change your display name if you'd rather not show off your real name.
  6. 6. Don't be a huge jerk or do anything illegal, and you'll be fine.

Chattanooga Times Free Press Comments Policy

The Chattanooga Times Free Press web sites include interactive areas in which users can express opinions and share ideas and information. We cannot and do not monitor all of the material submitted to the website. Additionally, we do not control, and are not responsible for, content submitted by users. By using the web sites, you may be exposed to content that you may find offensive, indecent, inaccurate, misleading, or otherwise objectionable. You agree that you must evaluate, and bear all risks associated with, the use of the Times Free Press web sites and any content on the Times Free Press web sites, including, but not limited to, whether you should rely on such content. Notwithstanding the foregoing, you acknowledge that we shall have the right (but not the obligation) to review any content that you have submitted to the Times Free Press, and to reject, delete, disable, or remove any content that we determine, in our sole discretion, (a) does not comply with the terms and conditions of this agreement; (b) might violate any law, infringe upon the rights of third parties, or subject us to liability for any reason; or (c) might adversely affect our public image, reputation or goodwill. Moreover, we reserve the right to reject, delete, disable, or remove any content at any time, for the reasons set forth above, for any other reason, or for no reason. If you believe that any content on any of the Times Free Press websites infringes upon any copyrights that you own, please contact us pursuant to the procedures outlined in the Digital Millennium Copyright Act (Title 17 U.S.C. § 512) at the following address:

Copyright Agent
The Chattanooga Times Free Press
400 East 11th Street
Chattanooga, TN 37403
Phone: 423-757-6315
Email: webeditor@timesfreepress.com


Loading...