This March 28, 2017, file photo, provided by the New York State Sex Offender Registry shows Jeffrey Epstein. Epstein has died by suicide while awaiting trial on sex-trafficking charges, says person briefed on the matter, Saturday, Aug. 10, 2019. (New York State Sex Offender Registry via AP, File)

It is not unreasonable to wonder if the suspicious "suicide" of Jeffrey Epstein was protecting the political class like the Russian hoax investigation, or if it was just your run-of-the-mill government incompetence. If it was the latter, someone might need to remind government prison guards that "putting someone on suicide watch" does not mean watching him commit suicide.

The government bungled this case so badly that I am surprised Epstein was not transferred to a girls' juvenile detention facility. This is the same government that wants you to cede more of your Second Amendment rights to it and promises that, with just one more law on the books, it will prevent the next deranged shooter.

Nor is it outlandish to think that Epstein was another victim of the Clinton Witness Removal Program. Just ask their Arkansas lawyer/confidant and Deputy White House Counsel Vince Foster; oh, wait, you can't.

As expected, Hillary Clinton's spokesperson wrote, "The Clintons are saddened by the events surrounding Jeffery Epstein's suicide." The weird thing is, that statement was released three weeks ago.

Having seen only rich men shaken down for money for supposed "sexual abuse" over the years (why do only rich men get #MeToo-ed?) I read about the Epstein case with an open mind. But when more than twenty-odd underaged girls claim the same thing over a span of 30 years, the charges were likely true. Epstein had more lawyers on retainer than his maid found dental retainers in his bedroom.

These related charges have the liberal elite donor class justifiably worried. They should have known Epstein was bad when he had his car horn replaced with the sound of ice cream truck music.

Now the left and the right vie to paint Epstein as a friend of the Clintons or Trump (who was also a Democrat until about 2014). I read the reports: Trump had limited social interaction with Epstein on the Palm Beach social scene, but Epstein was very close with the Clintons. Trump kicked him out of his club, and turned him in to the police for messing with underaged girls. The Clintons kept hanging with him. Epstein was a Democrat who donated $25,000 (one report says $4 million) to the Clinton Family Crime Foundation — presumably protection money.

According to flight records, Epstein flew Bill Clinton at least 26 legs on his jet (dubbed "Air Lolita") in just the two years researched. If I know anything about Bill Clinton, they were thick legs. Bill Clinton said that he only took four trips with Epstein and everyone behaved perfectly. When Bill Clinton and Donald Trump are your "sober companions," imagine what went on with Epstein's drunk friends.

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Ron Hart

Epstein was a major contributor to Democrat and NYC causes, including the New York Philharmonic Orchestra. As a tribute to Epstein, they played him his favorite composition — in 'A minor,' of course.

Even per the liberal Politico, Ghislaine Maxwell, Epstein's socially connected bird dog, "vacationed on a yacht with Chelsea Clinton in 2009, attended her wedding in 2010, and participated in the Clinton Global Initiative as recently as 2013."

As they did for Harvey Weinstein, of course, the left protected the Democratic donor for way too long. As we know, sex crimes accusations are reserved by the left only for use against political opponents — and GOP Supreme Court nominees.

The most-played news item on mainstream media is Epstein attending a Mar-a-Lago party where Trump talks to him and dances with NFL cheerleaders in their twenties. I can just imagine Epstein saying, "These women must have really been something in their prime."

As in the Paul Manafort case, it seems crimes only come to light years later and only when there is a political connection. It is clear, as well, that criminals can hide in plain sight for very long periods of time if they are Democratic donors. As I said in 2016 in the Anthony Weiner case, with liberals, if you act like your heart's in the right place, you can put your hands anywhere you want.

Epstein had so much dirt on so many New York politicians one wonders how he lived this long. If there is a bright note in all of this, it is good to see the two political parties coming together over this suicide and getting things done together. In another hopeful sign of bipartisanship, politicians are now in joint committee drafting Epstein's official suicide note.

Ron Hart is a syndicated op-ed humorist, award-winning author and TV/radio commentator. You can reach him at or Twitter @RonaldHart.