Yes, we are officially the Divided States of America because we have reached a place where we will argue about anything, especially online.
Anything.
Want example No. 1? Earlier this week, the conversation that dominated Twitter was "Seinfeld" vs. "Friends."
And right when you think the conversation could not get any more nonsensical and obvious, along came the trending topic, "Who has the better chicken sandwich, Popeye's or Chick-Fil-A?"
Get outta here with that.
Hey, Popeye may be what he be, but no one is doing a better chicken sandwich than Chick-Fil-A.
No one.
Divine Division
Speaking of division, well, President Donald Trump is the Dean of Division.
That much we can all agree on.
Jay GreesonThe emergence of the 2015 video of the Bible chat with the president this week certainly reminds us that The Donald is not taking over for your Sunday School teacher anytime soon.
But here's the kicker: Donald's Detractors are getting another round of jollies poking fun at this. That's fine.
Which leads us to the quandary for the anti-conservative crew: are Republicans too religious or not religious enough?
That's a wide array of options, no?
PEDs, a six-pack and some Pringles
The newest concern for Major League Baseball drug testers is over-the-counter sexual enhancement pills from gas stations.
Players are failing drug tests now and are blaming it on taking those gas station wonders. Now, whether those pills are providing a edge in training or used as a masking agent over traditional performance enhancers is still up the air.
The goal of actual ED fixers or PEDs, who knows. But the names on those packages are one of those areas where reality is more entertaining than fiction.
Stacker. Rush. Spanish Fly liquid. Weekend Prince.
And don't forget the Big Gulp.
Saturday star
We'll go group and individual this week.
First for the latter. Kudos, Hamilton County Schools Superintendent Dr. Bryan Johnson, who repurposed a $15,000 bonus to the system for potential scholarships named for his late mother.
Hey, the cynics out there may say it's a PR stunt, but it's still giving $15K to something he believes in, which is commendable.
The group star is all of you guys and gals who are going to buy the Hamilton County Schools coupon books.
Those of us against the tax increase proposal should certainly be willing to toss out $10 a time or two for those coupon books.
And if you want to buy one and haven't had someone approach you, well, my email is below, and my Hamilton County public school tots will be glad to sell you a book or three.
Obit observation
The names and ages from this week's obituaries in the Times Free Press easily could make your head spin.
People with longtime Chattanooga ties, such as graduates from since-closed high schools like Rossville or Kirkman. Decorated police officers like Thomas Arnold, who grew up here before spending more than three decades in law enforcement all across the state. Beloved parents, like Sarah Varnell, who spent 93 great years here, with a great part of it enjoying the life-fulfilling success of her children.
This week, however, the obit observation was tear-filled but inspiring. It was a life too short.
Hope McCoy died last Saturday. She was 6, and all of us with kids can only shake our heads and share our prayers with parents who have to bury their babies.
But the words in Hope's hope-filled final passage are just as worthy of repeating than any of the obit observations we have done in this space.
Other than her interests in swimming and playing and dancing and being the designated "team hugger," here's a hope that we all can take hope in Hope's final lesson.
"The greatest lesson we learned from Hope," her obituary read earlier this week, "Be with the people you love - in joy, in life, in silence, with love and acceptance. Just be with them, love them and let them know."
God, take care of Hope. She's an angel - before and forever.
Contact Jay Greeson at jgreeson@timesfreepress.com.