Proving yet again, that it's a super long way from "Full House" to the big house, Lori Loughlin is making folks scratch their heads - again.
Loughlin, who played the beloved Aunt Becky on the ABC family sitcom "Full House" before turning to a life of white-collar crime and college admissions bribery, has hired something called a prison coach.
Hey, as many will attest, there is great reward in being called "Coach." Being a prison coach? Well, other than the dreadful "Get Hard" - a movie in which Will Ferrell hires Kevin Hart to prepare him for prison - who has ever heard of such a thing?
Apparently, it's a real deal, and it may be the only business for which time served actually could be an advantage in the hiring process.
As for Loughlin, well, it's the latest step in a strange trek that has led to the possibility of years in prison for paying half a million dollars to get her daughters into the University of Southern California.
The prison "training" process includes martial arts techniques and proper prison etiquette, including not sitting on someone else's bed (that is apparently viewed as a romantic advance).
No word on whether using the wrong salad fork means time in the hole, however.
Speaking of First-World problems ...
Normally I try to abstain from throwing stones when it comes to the realm of First-World problems.
I know that with a wonderful wife, healthy kids and strong belief in my Lord, I am blessed beyond my wildest dreams.
But the story of Meghan and Harry that has consumed social media may be the single-most "Oh, you poor soul" since Brad Pitt was picking between Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston.
Prince Harry and his wife Meghan Markle announced they intended to step down as senior royals. Hey, family issues can be painful, whether you're royal or a royal pain in the neck.
They - of course - said they want to make their own mark on the world.
Here's betting the accountants at Buckingham Palace are crunching the numbers to determine just how this family separation will work. It ain't cheap living as a royal, whether you are in Great Britain or Canada or the USA.
Seed money
This story will assuredly grow, and grow quickly.
Authors Don Winslow and Stephen King have offered a $200,000 donation to St. Jude Children's Research Hospital if White House Press Secretary Stephanie Grisham holds a one-hour news conference.
First, don't you think a bunch of Hollywood folks and other Trump-haters will jump on that bandwagon sooner rather than later? Perhaps up the ante by, say, a couple hundred thousand?
So with that in mind, keep holding out, Stephanie. Roll the dice for big money. (C'mon, you think anti-Trump folks like gasbag Michael Moore or Jennifer Lawrence or Mark Cuban won't seize this chance to steal some publicity and rally around the "think of the children" narrative?)
Truth be told, when the president meets the media as often as Trump does, I'm not sure how often his press secretary actually needs to meet with the media, but it's still surprising that it's been 300-plus days since the last West Wing news event.
Obit observations
Normally, I comb through the Times Free Press for local obituaries of note.
Today, I will share one instance that puts my profession in the crosshairs of public contempt and gives the hollow howls about the mainstream media a rare fiber of fact.
In the last two weeks there have been some newsworthy obituaries. Here are two that appeared in The New York Times, tweeted out by the newspaper's official @NYTObits account:
"Qassim Suleimani, Master of Iran's Intrigue and Force, Dies at 62" is how one obit was tweeted.
"Sam Wyche, who was the last coach to lead the Cincinnati Bengals to the Super Bowl but who was later fined by the NFL for barring a female reporter from the team's locker room, has died" is how the other obit was tweeted.
Really, NYT? The tweet for an obituary about the death of an Iranian general who was killed for reportedly slaughtering thousands of people is offered straight and direct, but Wyche's decision - which generated all of a $4,000 fine - in 1990 deserves special mention in his last headline ever?
Simply unacceptable, considering that, in this day and age, the perception of bias is every bit as damning as actual bias in most folks' eyes.
Contact Jay Greeson at jgreeson@timesfreepress.com.