Thursday was the strangest April's Fool Day ever.
How could it not have been when headlines — companies offering classes to employees to be less white; a Nickelodeon Kids' Choice-winning rapper selling knock-off Nikes with human blood in the soles — reach the edge of believability.
Heck, count me among the folks who fell for the "Voltswagen" story earlier this week.
So, when the email arrived with the subject line "DREAM Job — Company seeks 'Professional Hotdog Tester' for spring job" I was more than skeptical.
Is being a professional hotdog tester a dream job? If you are hired to find someone for that gig, are you less a corporate headhunter than a fat headhunter? Talk about your Link-in, huh?
So, I'm hooked. Yes, I have a job I'm very fond of, considering where I started.
When I was in high school, those career interest tests pointed a decidedly less-motivated version of me to aim somewhere between dirt merchant and parade watcher.
Side question: Do schools still offer those career exams, a jobs version of the throw-noodles-at-the-wall Rorschach Test? And can you imagine how the "Everyone gets a trophy" crowd would react to learning they are best suited to be a dust collector or a carbon dioxide converter?
Anyone can go to law school or into medicine, but I decided to follow the money into journalism.
I'm intrigued about some side hustle of testing hotdogs, especially on the professional level. Because, let's face it, amateur hotdog testing is a waste of my time at this point.
First, we had to see if this job was real. And hot diggity-dog it looks to be.
And it has an added bonus — while testing the hotdogs you are required to watch Major League Baseball. No mention of driving a Chevy (which I do) or eating apple pie afterward (which I would). #Merica.
The good folks at BonusFinder.com are looking to fill this all-important, All-American gig just like they found someone to be a professional Netflix binge watcher (while eating pizza) as well as professional ice cream, cheeseburger and pumpkin pie testers.
Sadly, I was part of a mass email wave and not the frontrunner for the hotdog tester job. A person will judge the dogs on appearance and color (not sure that's allowed these days) among other factors like quality of bun, sauce and topping generosity and value.
Like anyone over the age of 21 in the U.S. and Canada, you and I can apply online at bonusfinder.com. Not that it seems fair to our northern neighbors who are a faded facsimile in the ways of the frankfurter.
The lucky candidate will be selected in early May.
The pay is somewhat meager at $500, but limited expenses to the game and the meal there are included. And considering the prices at some of the stadiums and the money lost by MLB last year because of the pandemic, tickets, dogs, and the salary actually comes to around $17,450.
So, I am in. Tell me where to sign, calories and carbs be dog-gone.
Even if it's not life-changing money, I'm open to having a side hustle — at least until I find someone hiring parade watchers, that is.
Contact Jay Greeson at email@example.com.